The influences of the sexual freedom remain decades beyond its supposed ‘death.’ In reality, it is not the movement that is so influential but the liberal train of thought of free love. I have already written to you about this, telling you when love is wrong, but this time I want to talk about the Christian obsession with purity, as if sex and relationships were impure.
There are various manifestations of this obsession ranging from a ban on physical contact such as kisses and holding hands and hugs, to making vows of completely staying out of a relationship for a period of time. While these vows spring from true and noble intentions (which are indeed admirable), sometimes a tinge of selfish irrationality has overrun this practice.
Why is it irrational? Because what works for one does not always work for everyone. It would be understandable if you were as weak as I, easily swayed by the demands of the flesh. In this case, it is truly better to cut off relationships and/or make extreme vows than to be tempted and so be unwarily led to sin. Otherwise, if God has graced you with enough self-control, then I see no reason to make such vows, unless it is something like a Nazirite vow. But the problem lies here: sometimes these vows are made either because of 1) fear of being hurt, or 2) desire for happiness.
And so the logic goes like this: “I’ll stay pure until God gives me the one so I’ll be happy <or some other kind of happiness, such as not being hurt>.” While there is nothing wrong with wanting to be happy (God loves it when we delight in Him), this noble practice has been reduced to a selfish bargaining with God.
First and foremost, I think that the obsession with a soulmate is pointless. Some say that the idea of soulmates are Greek in nature (Zeus splitting humans into two with lightning), there is also a Jewish concept of a soulmate, tied to predestination. Because God is sovereign over all, including relationships and marriages, soulmates are not in contrast with Scripture. But predestination is the least of our concern, for the secret things belong to the Lord.
Our business lies with what is revealed to us: 1) being pure (not staying pure, because no one is pure), and 2) our motives for doing so.
The pursuit of purity is not for happiness, but for the Glory. Whatever we do, we do for the Glory; happiness is merely secondary. Now this does not mean that being pure is a heart-wrenching sacrifice; on the contrary, Old Testament sacrifices are more or less sacred parties. As the psalmist declares, “In His right hand are pleasures forever more.” Happiness is inevitably included in the end, but it is not the main goal.
It is easy to say that we do things for God’s glory, but we all know that our motives do not change so easily. After all, our hearts are the main reason we are impure. The kingdom is not concerned with staying out of relationships and of kisses and holding hands but with worshipping the Father in Spirit and in truth. What a woman kisses does not make her unclean, and what a man touches does not make him unclean, but what occupies their mind.
How then, do we become pure? And if it is not just staying out of relationships and physical contact, then what is it? The apostle Paul writes to the Thessalonians: “control your bodies in a holy and honourable manner, not with passion and lust.” In view of this, I think that purity is simply being holy. This we can attain by the renewing of our mind through meditation in His word, that we many know not just who, but what God’s will is – what is proper, pleasing, and perfect in his sight.
And if this is purity, then by all means, let us be obsessed with it.
No comments:
Post a Comment