Romance

Not to add to the millions of voices and advices and gurus, but to keep what you have learned.

This is your ideal progression: friends -> courtship -> girlfriend -> engagement -> marriage. Of course it doesn’t have to be that way, but friendship is very important since it provides 1) the necessary time for discernment of her character and 2) it is the foundation of the dynamics of the relationship.

When you have discerned with prayer and fasting and meditation in the word, court the girl. Again it doesn’t have to be that way (you can jump to 3! haha), but courtship provides the girl the necessary time for discernment of your character and intentions. During this trial I hope you do not back out. That is your personal policy, isn’t it?

Truth be told, it is only up to there that you have mulled about. “We’ll cross the bridge when we get there.” Although of course I know you imagine yourself sharing activities and working complementarily and side by side with a partner.

In any case, you have set your ideals on marriage:

1. She is a woman – just to be sure... though I have already said my piece on homosexuality
2. She is a ministry partner – In Genesis 2, right after God gave Adam the task to take care of Eden and commanded him to keep His words, He said “it is not good for man to be alone,” and eventually gave her Eve. I think that is no coincidence. This is also highlighted in 1 Cor 7, where the apostle Paul says “the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not...” After all, marriage isn’t about making me happy; it’s about making me happy in the LORD and glorify Him.
3. She is a partner – she not necessarily be a housewife. Others use the word ‘helpmeet.’ And if she is a partner, then she must be able and she must be willing (see #4).
4. She is submissive – this may be controversial but I mean this not just sexually (1 Cor 7 again) but in everything (Eph 5, Col 3). These were written to the saints (meaning, to Christian families), and our family should definitely qualify as one. Submission isn’t a bad thing as feminists suppose; remember, the Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve. The Kingdom is not of this world. 
5. She is a Christian – this almost automatically follows from #2 but this is specific in 1 Cor 7:39. And besides “mahirap mabuhay nang hindi mo nash-share ang pinakamasarap na parte ng buhay mo”

 Now ideally, we have the following qualities from the oh-so-famous Proverbs 31:

1. Trustworthy
2. Brings no harm
3. Works and Labours
4. Diligent, not idle
5. Manages assets and properties
6. Benevolent to the poor
7. “Clothed with strength and dignity”
8. “Speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction”
9. Fears the LORD 

And we have the following from other proverbs

1. Not adulterous (uhh c’mon) (Pr 2,5,6,7,23)
2. Not unruly (Pr 9:13)
3. Kindhearted (Pr 11:16)
4. Shows discretion (Pr 11:22)
5. Wise (Pr 14:1)
6. Prudent (Pr 19:14)
7. Not contemptible (Pr 30:23)
8. Not quarrelsome (Pr 19:13, 21:9, 21:19, 27:15)

And lastly, I must find her attractive (although to be honest I find a lot of people attractive). Perhaps another controversy on the idea of beauty, but there’s Song of Solomon showing the love of a husband to a wife. It’s the inside that counts most, yes, because “charm is fleeting and beauty is deceptive” and “like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion” but God created the body too, and we are also to take care of it. Which means it doesn’t have to conform to human standards of beauty (but I think you’ve already gone beyond that). But I must find her attractive. God called Ezekiel’s wife “the delight of your eyes,” and there is Pr 5:18, which is rather impossible to do if I do not at least find her attractive.

That said, who fits the above qualities??

Nope. Not gonna go there xD

(I’ve talked too much about this on Random Journals already haha)

Letters to Myself 12