May 19 2014 Monday

Today I'm corrupt. I registered as a voter, but my tita (aunt) is from Comelec (Comission on Elections). I practically bypassed the procedure. There were only a few people, but it's corruption all the same.

I noticed the eyes of those women working there when they saw me (I am rather tall compared to them). I could read in their eyes that they were thinking: "another one of the boss's" or something along those lines. They were almost ashamed to look at me. But I could also see that they have already accepted the fact of such situations inside the government.

I think it wasn't right. I don't know what I should've done. Maybe I do: turn down the corrupted offer of generosity. But I don't know how I should've done it. Gently? Firmly? Violently?

I don't want this to happen again.



Also I met kuya Alex (Alexander John Cruz) at Lolalita's Canteen (U really missed SC and Area2, especially ate marj :)) ). He still is as talkative and ambitious ever. I guess it's true though, that there are people who see money as a measure of success. I must admit that I was a bit taken aback when he said that the payback period for Petron Scholarship grant is 3 months. Well that's like a hundred thousand per month. Or maybe less since their batch is only under the grant for two years.

Anyhow, I'm still not enamored by money. I mean, what will I do with so much? It's good to have fun and all, for too enjoy the fruits of our toils is the gift of God. But to live for money like that, I can only see it as an empty life, craving for something that cannot really satisfy.

I can't blame him though. I mean, as a former porn addict, I very well know the pleasure of temporary satisfaction. I'll pray for him too.



Speaking of prayer and evangelism, I still don't know what I'd do with CCC. The only problem I have is with the pace they want to do things. You see, they want a large harvest, but there are no seeds planted. To ask for commitment right after, it might work for some (I hate the sound of that. Maybe it should be: it might be good for some), it might be good for some but not for all. Personally, I don't have this specific time and date of salvation like many others do. The process in my case is incredibly long.

I don't want to work like them, but I don't want to leave altogether either. I will wait on the Lord then.