May 4 2015 Monday

Today I didn't sleep well. I woke up in the middle of night, even though it wasn't so hot (it wasn't cold either). I was thinking of her.

Last night, I asked her academic stuff and we ended up talking. I really missed those times. I miss staring at the way she smiles and the way her eyes glitter when she speaks so passionately about anything! Bonsai or drawing or gundam or yellowcard or people or anything at all! I love the way her hair smells and the way she puts it behind her ear with a flick of her finger. I miss it all.

She also invited me to join her in social dance. Of course I wouldn't say no. I dreamed of dancing with her before too.

I wanted to confess. If it doesn't work out then all is well; I've resigned myself to this fate. But if it does then I'll pour all my energy into it.

I was still thinking of this when I woke up again this morning.

Should I? Or should I not?

It was a long struggle. The whole morning, I was thinking about it. Until continued reading Boy Meets Girl.

I really, really love her. But that love distracts me from the Lord. That's enough reason. It's a NO. For my utmost is for His highest, and He is my desire and happiness.

But I'll push through with the dance. But for now I'll also maintain the status quo.

So after that we played couple quiz with hanna-rj and france-luna! It was fun and amusing and interesting all at once! Someday I really want to be in a great relationship like that. But there's more to that for Christian couples. There's no greater joy than an intimate relationship with God. And marriage is a very good thing that makes us experience that.

All the while I was doing Plant Design work. I'm really productive! Although of course it could be better. But like I tweeted, I have promised to make time for people. It's not about making connections and about the value of social life over grades. I want to be able to serve people so I think spending time with them is the first step.

Actually I accompanied DonaTelle (+Kim and Gionel) in UP today. It's fun sitting around chilling and listening like that.

Oh and I also played Vayne-Thresh with my brother this morning. It was an excellent game. Vayne is fun when there are no lags. We carried the whole team together. The enemy team hardly had any assassins, and their only one, the Leb, was stopped in its tracks by a single Maw of Malmortius with the extra magic resist from Thresh's Locket of the Iron Solari. The rushing tanks like Shyvana and Garen were all kitable thanks to my brother's excellent Thresh coupled with Vayne's insane armor shredding. It's easily one of my favorite games.

May 3 2015 Sunday

Today Manny Pacquiao lost. I was really rooting for him! Too bad. I prayed a lot too. I asked, "Lord make him win so that your name will be glorified by everyone." But apparently winning isn't the only way to that. Better yet, we'll see the real results in his character.

There were a lot of people saying Mayweather just ran around, but the scorecard says otherwise. Mayweather fans would say that's not what boxing is all about. Well, playing smart isn't exactly really exciting. But I guess that's also a way to win. An boxing is a sport, not an entertainment show. Although I think its roots came from the gladiators in the Roman Coliseum. It's pretty funny actually, that the fight between the fans is apparently more intense than the actual fight.

I guess it's a win-win. Mayweather doesn't really care about fame however negative it is. He only bothers about the money so he got what he want.

So much for ranting haha. Hmm no positive things today, I guess. Although I really missed getting hyped while talking to the moon. haha

May 1 2015 Friday

Today is labor day! But I don't really know why it's a vacation. I didn't bother to look up. Anyway my birthday is near! But my mom is insisting on going to that Parangal thing. I'd rather not celebrate my birthday in such a place. Or in such a manner.

Nothing really much to say. People are really cold now. Even the moon.

April 30 2015 Thursday

Today Hyae asked me about personal things. Or rather, it seemed that such things are very personal to her. But I can view things objectively so it doesn't become personal to me.

Which makes me wonder, if nothing becomes personal to me, then what kind of person am I? Anyway, that'll be a problem for my future partner. But not today.

Anyway, here's my opinion on it.

Porn, masturbation, pre-marital sex: with regard to morality: wrong. "I tell you the truth, whoever looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." And we know that adultery was punished by death by stoning. "You must remove the evil from among you." In fact, in the next verses Christ says to pluck out an eye or cut off an arm!

I think I've already talked about sexual freedom before, and I can't remember what I said. Just look it up.

How to deal with those sins? Certainly, death by stoning is no longer a rule now. But we should also deal with it as severely: crucify the flesh and its lusts by continual meditation and obedience in the Word of God.

At least, that's what I see.

And that's easy to say. But doing it is very different. But by God's grace I believe someday I'll make it.

Anyway, I was tricked by Pizza Hut! I decided to stretch my budget from P100 to P120 and I read the advertisement P130/person so I decided to eat there. But apparently it was supposed to be for two people. So my dinner costs a hefty P282. Which is as big as my total expenses in a normal day.

It's my fault, but the waitress could've at least warned me. But she didn't even bother. So I had to take out 2/3 of the pizza.

If I were rich like the girls beside me then I wouldn't be having this problem now. They say "I'll have DQ later" without even flinching.

Anyway, there are a lot more unfortunate people that I can help even with just what we have now and I shouldn't concern myself with such things. I'll just learn to cook really good food when I live alone (for some reason my parents don't want me in the kitchen).

What

April 28 2015 Tuesday

Today was almost an uneventful day. I made a gram of 5wt% catalyst alone, in the lab, and there was no CW10 class, too. It was a normal day, until I went to AS to go to the CR. Then there was this thin girl who asked where to go for transfer, but was apparently from Stand UP. She began by saying bad things about Alyansa actually. So she was trying to convince me of the mass action thing and I told her about hasty generalizations they make and the faulty overthrow approach.

What's wrong about mass action? Nothing inherent, actually. It is, however, their belief that nothing happens without mass action. That, I don't approve. I believe that action can come from the top and from the bottom. And also inherent in this belief is a disbelief in God, be it His omnipotence or benevolence.

Should a Christian be an activist? Many would say no, quoting Romans 13:1 "Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God." The context of this statement should be noted, however. (I got this one from pastor Rei.) During that time, Caesar declared himself to be God. In view of that, the whole passage becomes ironic. I think the apostle repeatedly says "God's minister" to refer that Caesar is merely a servant whether he like it or not, for the Sovereign turns the heart of kings wherever he wishes. Romans 13 is subversive, being against the blasphemy of Caesar, yet at the same time submissive, obeying the rule of law. He even admonishes them to pay the excessive taxes.

The apostle's conclusion is very reminiscent of Christ's words: "Render therefore to all their due: taxes to whom taxes are due, customs to whom customs, fear to whom fear, honor to whom honor. Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law."

And so, cliché as it may be, it boils down to duty and love. Is being an activist love? It might not be, but it is also a citizen's duty.

So how can we be activists with love? I don't think it's by shouting and saying bad things about the government. A good example would be Gandhi. And a more modern example would be the Hong Kong activists. The best example would be Christ, who could have called ten thousand angels to overthrow the Romans, yet chose to pay His taxes and stay on the cross.

So yes, it is important to voice our concerns, but it should be done in the proper way.

April 27 2015 Monday

Today I talked to the star. She talked about her weekend very giddily and enthusiastically which was really cute. I later realized I stared at her expressive face a little too much.

I found out that my second conjecture is correct. She must have been thinking about the 'they.' So I told her that it's not her. I hope she's okay now. It's also nice to pour out my feelings to someone who actually understands. And vice versa.

Aside from that, I wasn't much productive today. I'll finish the conveyor belt design tonight.

But I made a cooler! It took me a good 30 minutes. I got the idea from ma'am de Leon. I'm still thinking how to improve it but it's working good now. Maybe I should fit the minifan properly, or reroute the holes to the side instead. Imagining the flow, it feels like the ice is being short-circuited. Or maybe I should do a cooler startup by covering all holes first so the air inside is completely cold. I'll try it tomorrow.

I'm thinking of also doing a dehumidifier like the one at home because the low duty of the fan calls for direct air-ice contact. Which entails humidification. But the ventilation system might be good enough already. Ironically, it's the biggest enemy of the home-made airconditioning unit.

April 26 2015 Sunday

Apparently, the other day I got 16 pageviews! That's neat. I wonder where they came from.

Anyway, our performance in Arnis (with my partner John Dee) was solid. In fact, I heard someone from the audience say it. I screwed up at the last disarm though (which isn't my favorite), and also said "Pugay!" at the same time my partner said "Handa!" But it was good overall, I think

Today I finished Shokugeki no Soma which is a bit good and detailed and all, except that the fights have become very formulaic. Something like First person's cooking -> Second person's cooking -> Surpise/ace/trick -> Verdict. Although the art is really good. Perhaps the main catch there is the orgasmic look when they eat good food. I guess that's part selling the manga, because it's a fact that food and sex sells. But Erina Nakiri is really very pretty, although I like Tadokoro better.

Speaking of 2D girls, Onodera's face when she tugged Raku's sleeve was priceless! Also when she returned home smiling like a cat :3

We also watched Avengers: Age of Ultron. The fights were a bit repetitive and it's hard to understand the story without being a huge fan. Good thing we watched Captain America: Winter Soldier something. Even then I had to read up a lot after just to understand the movie. But I must say it's really cool. But Black Widow is better without a love team.

Most importantly, today I told the secret. I hope it will be fixed. But it will take a long time. Maybe even longer than since I had this. But I rest my hope in Him.

Well that's pretty much the good things. Annoying things would be something like inconsiderate/noisy people in the jeepney. Gotta reduce writing about those, haha.