May 8 2015 Friday

Today I attached a regulator to a cylinder. The manager of Shimadzu replaced the molecular sieve (taken from FID) and I came just in time to find a wrench. Then I attached the regulator. I also checked for leaks.

But sadly the CPU isn't working. We put a monitor there from another equipment and also tried another monitor but they didn't work. I removed the dust inside the CPU but it didn't work also.

So we need to fix the CPU.

Anyway I studied HAZOP later after eating bonchon with LC and hanna and rojen. Then the star spoke in a different speech pattern (mixed with english) which was really cute.

Carl's story about eating with sir Jimievard at KNL was funny.

Tonight was my cousin's debut celebration. It is weird because we have the same birthday but we don't really have it. Hers was moved to mine because mama beth is weird.

I als got sukang paombong from Mike which is nice. I want to eat it soon.

May 7 2015 Thursday

I'm actually writing this on the morning of May 8. I skipped yesterday because I wasn't feeling well. Anyway let's begin there.

Yesterday I got a legitimate love letter. I didn't think it would be that beautiful. It's more than a manifestation of emotions and feelings; it is love crystallized. Every thoughtful stroke of that neat, consistent handwriting, every word chosen with care, every punctuation marked by a heartbeat is a piece of that raw yet refined solid crystal. It's so clear and pure that it seems to shine a warm yellow glow, and looking at it makes me feel happy too.

We're actually very similar, but... I won't write it here. That's for her to know and hers only.

After that I donated blood and I think I overworked myself walking under the sun yesterday that I fell asleep in the bus. I also fell asleep early, but that's partly because I couldn't think properly then.

Today when I woke up I still couldn't think properly. And thinking of that letter reminded me of what I wrote last year. Miracle, Love. I re-read it and realized that I still feel the same after 363 days.

So I don't know anymore. I'm back again to this torn feeling of feelings vs spirit. My mind stops working when it comes to her haha

Oh also the star is very weird. Like she wants to say something but instead says it vaguely so that I could say it instead of her. But that's normal for her but she keeps saying she's weird and I'm weird which we know are both true which makes it weird even though it's normal.

May 6 2015 Wednesday

Today is my birthday! But I'll start the story from yesterday.

Actually, yesterday wasn't very eventual except for the social dance lesson. Well maybe the star was a little giddy about it. So we left the lab at around 4:50 and went to NIGS to give France her laptop. Then we walked to Vinzons and rode a Katip jeep to McDo, the meeting place.

We talked for quite a while in McDo about... things. Frustrations and fun, I guess you could put it that way. I really missed that. The sparkle in her eyes when she talks about things she like and petpeeves alike. That's why I don't understand why people don't take their time to listen to her. I guess she's not as uncomfortable around me as I thought.

Then Jan Cerezo came. (S)he's gay as expected. Very talkative and interesting. When Don, Dan, and Iana (new person, Lingg freshie and tennis UP varsity and apparently a Christian. Quiet too.) The lesson started at around a little before 7 so we ended at 8.

Then the group wanted to eat dinner but she remembered they had curfew so we went to SM North.

In the FX I asked her what her favorite pizza is and she didn't have one at first but then later she said Sbarro. About pasta there was this Touché or something but I don't know what that is. I'll try that soon.

So I decided to buy Sbarro for tomorrow.

Anyway what's important about that is that I can maintain the status quo as planned. Although I really need to stop thinking of her all the time and focus on the Lord instead.

When I woke up it was early so I washed the plates and had a little brownie for breakfast.

Then I played an Ashe and lost the game partly because of Soraka (terrible support, kept KSing creeps when she can and sightstone is passive, amongst others). But PD-Statikk-Zephyr-Boots of Swiftness Alacrity gives you 475 ms which is very neat. We were winning at first actually. I had some really good moves. But our team was dysfunctional so it was more or less a foreseen loss.

Anyway about the birthday! Malaine is the first to greet me as usual. That's 12:03 AM for the record. Then my dad and mom when I woke up then Danzen who was reminded yesterday and then Tita Beth.

When I got to the lab ate Shiela greeted me and of course Hyae who was there too tagged along.

At around 10 I called Sbarro and ordered the pizza. So estelle came when I was calling and she thought I was asking for molecular sieve but realized it was pizza and greeted me. Ate Carla came and I got new arnis sticks (kamagong) from Palawan! Black and very smooth and elegant. Then Dona came at the same time as the Sbarro so she was a little late.

So I have five people excluding my parents who know my birthday! Although I'm not really particular about it, it still feels nice.

So I asked people to come and eat the pizza and they were full and happy. It was my first time to celebrate birthday at school so I realized a lot of things:

1) It's really awkward when people sing happy birthday because you don't do anything in the few minutes they are singing except smile and look happy even though you'd rather talk to them instead.

2) It's more fun to celebrate birthdays in small groups because you really get to talk to people and also it's cheaper. So maybe next year I'd celebrate birthweek, like I told Aaron. On second thought, maybe not.

3) People like pizza. Even though I chose meatless they ate all of it. I should learn how to cook pizza.

It's a little sad that she wasn't able to eat a lot of the pizza. If she asked I would have bought another stuffed pizza.

Then the three of us went to physics and ask about Raman and the star and I snuck into the Research area and went to Ms. Eloise. She's very... how should I say this? Unsociable? Yeah, I think that's the word. She's actually a tsundere-ish girl who's very dedicated to work as I would learn later.

So I was supposed to go to the Parangal thing but then she was expecting us to join the Raman so I volunteered (I want to, too. I mean it isn't just about the priorities but I also want to see how Raman is done). That was about 1:30 PM then I went to Engglib to brush up on Raman but I accidentally took a nap for a few minutes. I did manage to finish reading but I'm not aware of the causes of the peaks in the TiO2 samples. I mean, all three forms are very different.

So we went to Raman and Ms. Eloise tried to make small talk but it's funny because she doesn't know how. I indirectly asked her hobbies and she says "wala, kailangan mag-experiment" and she snaps just like that. And she's actually very proud and I saw a smile of contempt when she said that GO and Graphene are different, to which I followed-up that the sample is reduced GO. (Which is of course technically graphene but it's common knowledge that it's more wrinkled and has a more terrible Raman spectrum. Well after that they kinda stopped grilling me about our work (thanks to them I got a better point of view of our thesis. Oh and Adelen helped a lot too except in a much nicer way. I forgot to talk about her last it was night or last last night I think).

I made myself useful by preparing the samples and turning the lights on and off (I catch on pretty quickly so I know the procedure more or less: Sample prep make one layer of solid powder sample in glass -> put under the green laser -> optical focus -> something that takes a while and makes a tik-tik-tik sound -> spectro) so I think they like that too. But I don't really know because they are a very close group and they don't talk to strangers. But they are funny and I couldn't stop myself from smiling when they were playfully mocking each other.

So our rGO had a terrible spectrum as expected because it should be FLG at least. So we actually were like getting the Raman spectrum of graphite in that setting. Which was stupid of me to not realize. Well the other samples were more or less nice.

Edit: I wrote 1994 onstead of 2015 ha ha

Thoughts

I like melding Scripture together. Here is something about creation that's been floating in my mind for so long.

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In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through Him, things on heaven and on earth, 
visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him. And He is before all things, and in Him all things consist. 

Then God said, “Let there be light”; and there was light. In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. Evening passed and morning came, that was the first day.

Then God said, “Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.” God made it and it was so. Evening passed and morning came, that was the second day.

Then God said, “Let the waters under the heavens be gathered together into one place, and let the dry land appear”; and it was so. 

Then God said, “Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb that yields seed, and the fruit tree that yields fruit according to its kind, whose seed is in itself, on the earth”; and it was so.. Evening passed and morning came, that was the third day.

Then God said, “Let there be lights in the firmament of the heavens to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs and seasons, and for days and years; and let them be for lights in the firmament of the heavens to give light on the earth”; and it was so. Then God made it and it was so. Evening passed and morning came, that was the fourth day.

Then God said, “Let the waters abound with an abundance of living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the face of the firmament of the heavens.” Evening passed and morning came, that was the fifth day.

Then God said, “Let the earth bring forth the living creature according to its kind: cattle and creeping thing and beast of the earth, each according to its kind”; and it was so. 

Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” Evening passed and morning came, that was the sixth day.

And on the seventh day God ended His work which He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had done.

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.

Now I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse. And He who sat on him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness He judges and makes war. His eyes were like a flame of fire, and on His head were many crowns. He had a name written that no one knew except Himself. He was clothed with a robe dipped in blood, and His name is called The Word of God. And the armies in heaven, clothed in fine linen, white and clean, followed Him on white horses. Now out of His mouth goes a sharp sword, that with it He should strike the nations. And He Himself will rule them with a rod of iron. He Himself treads the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God. And He has on His robe and on His thigh a name written:

KING OF KINGS AND
LORD OF LORDS.

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Actually I want to insert something mind-boggling in between the creation days and I think that would be good for a longer discussion about nature and stuff but it would take too much time and when it's raw like this instead I think it has a different kind of value.

May 4 2015 Monday

Today I didn't sleep well. I woke up in the middle of night, even though it wasn't so hot (it wasn't cold either). I was thinking of her.

Last night, I asked her academic stuff and we ended up talking. I really missed those times. I miss staring at the way she smiles and the way her eyes glitter when she speaks so passionately about anything! Bonsai or drawing or gundam or yellowcard or people or anything at all! I love the way her hair smells and the way she puts it behind her ear with a flick of her finger. I miss it all.

She also invited me to join her in social dance. Of course I wouldn't say no. I dreamed of dancing with her before too.

I wanted to confess. If it doesn't work out then all is well; I've resigned myself to this fate. But if it does then I'll pour all my energy into it.

I was still thinking of this when I woke up again this morning.

Should I? Or should I not?

It was a long struggle. The whole morning, I was thinking about it. Until continued reading Boy Meets Girl.

I really, really love her. But that love distracts me from the Lord. That's enough reason. It's a NO. For my utmost is for His highest, and He is my desire and happiness.

But I'll push through with the dance. But for now I'll also maintain the status quo.

So after that we played couple quiz with hanna-rj and france-luna! It was fun and amusing and interesting all at once! Someday I really want to be in a great relationship like that. But there's more to that for Christian couples. There's no greater joy than an intimate relationship with God. And marriage is a very good thing that makes us experience that.

All the while I was doing Plant Design work. I'm really productive! Although of course it could be better. But like I tweeted, I have promised to make time for people. It's not about making connections and about the value of social life over grades. I want to be able to serve people so I think spending time with them is the first step.

Actually I accompanied DonaTelle (+Kim and Gionel) in UP today. It's fun sitting around chilling and listening like that.

Oh and I also played Vayne-Thresh with my brother this morning. It was an excellent game. Vayne is fun when there are no lags. We carried the whole team together. The enemy team hardly had any assassins, and their only one, the Leb, was stopped in its tracks by a single Maw of Malmortius with the extra magic resist from Thresh's Locket of the Iron Solari. The rushing tanks like Shyvana and Garen were all kitable thanks to my brother's excellent Thresh coupled with Vayne's insane armor shredding. It's easily one of my favorite games.

May 3 2015 Sunday

Today Manny Pacquiao lost. I was really rooting for him! Too bad. I prayed a lot too. I asked, "Lord make him win so that your name will be glorified by everyone." But apparently winning isn't the only way to that. Better yet, we'll see the real results in his character.

There were a lot of people saying Mayweather just ran around, but the scorecard says otherwise. Mayweather fans would say that's not what boxing is all about. Well, playing smart isn't exactly really exciting. But I guess that's also a way to win. An boxing is a sport, not an entertainment show. Although I think its roots came from the gladiators in the Roman Coliseum. It's pretty funny actually, that the fight between the fans is apparently more intense than the actual fight.

I guess it's a win-win. Mayweather doesn't really care about fame however negative it is. He only bothers about the money so he got what he want.

So much for ranting haha. Hmm no positive things today, I guess. Although I really missed getting hyped while talking to the moon. haha

May 1 2015 Friday

Today is labor day! But I don't really know why it's a vacation. I didn't bother to look up. Anyway my birthday is near! But my mom is insisting on going to that Parangal thing. I'd rather not celebrate my birthday in such a place. Or in such a manner.

Nothing really much to say. People are really cold now. Even the moon.