This is a formal theme written in for my English class in 4th year high school after Ondoy, an incredibly devastating storm, hit the country.
A few weeks ago, a dreadful event that happened 16 years ago returned, only this time, it was a lot stronger. For two whole days it rained nonstop; darkness reigned above, and no hint of the sun was permitted to pass through the thick dark clouds of the storm. There was no electricity that will power the street lamps. The dams were forced to leak water into the rivers, which caused the creek that literally surrounded our village to overflow within an hour. Our area was a hill, yet half of it sank beneath the turbulent muddy waters. It was so deep that only the roofs of the houses downhill were visible. The two bridges that linked our community cracked; one of them broke down and can no longer be used, while the other one’s rusty railings got snatched by the flood.
Our house, thanks to the Lord, did not get flooded. All we lost was some electricity, some time, and some fun. During the time it was raining, it was too dark to work. All we could do was sit and stare at each other and at the ceiling. I preferred the latter. We got bored with staring and, to kill time, amused ourselves with a modified scrabble, chess, and toys that I used to play with when I was still a little kid. But without electricity, time is virtually invulnerable. It came to the point that I got bored of playing, and once more stared at the ceiling, wishing it would stare back at me. When the two days were over, electricity came back. My little brother shouted with joy, while I went straight to the computer and played. The clouds parted and the sun once more smiled on us, laying its warm, gentle rays on the wet roof of our house, making us forget the cold darkness we have experienced.
While the computer was booting, I realized how much I have changed. The action figures I used to play with for four hours straight no longer meant anything now. The board games I used to love have lost their appeal. But, more importantly, I realized that our society has been relying on the magic of electricity too much. We used it too recklessly, neglecting the negative effects it has on nature. Man has already begun to abuse and control nature; he has made his own source of light, his own sun, to make himself forget of all the hardships he has gone through. But, where there is light, there is shadow. It is true that today we enjoy life more, but we should also be reminded that there is a power much greater than what we could ever attain, that nature is not ours, but God’s.
I do not want this calamity to happen again – no one does – yet we cannot avoid it. The army of global warming is on its way and the Philippines is the front line of defense of the world. We will be the first to receive nature’s counterattack on humankind, and we are in no way whatsoever prepared for this. A lot of people still throw trash anywhere they want even though they know that it will go back to them in one way or another. Perhaps, we can make an effort to make the Filipinos realize their mistakes. The global warming awareness shows in TV helps a lot, and the environmentalist organizations also give their own contribution. By joining one of these groups, I can give my contribution to save the world. Or, I could do it in my own little way. But, unfortunately, our race is one that is eager for results. If we do not see or feel an improvement within a year, we will probably give up on what we do. We could try, but I personally believe that we are helpless against nature. But, then again, no one laughs at a man who does his best.
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Sa Lata ng Sardinas
Unang araw ng klase at ayoko pa naman sanang mahuli. Umalis ako ng 6:00 AM para sa 8:00 AM na klase ko. Maraming tricycle palabas ng aming village at hindi trapik papunta sa sakayan ng jeep o FX. At dahil ubod ng haba ang pila sa FX, minabuti ko na lamang sumakay ng jeep. Pero sana pala hindi na lang.
Parang lata ng sardinas na gumugulong sa Commonwealth Avenue ang jeep na nasakyan ko. Itodo man ng drayber ang bulusok ng makina hanggang malagong ulap-ulan na ang hithitin ng tambutso eh makikita sa labas na tila umaatras pa rin ang sasakyan sa sobrang kabagalan. Pinatungan pa ng mabigat na trapik sa ginagawang kalsada at wisikan pa ng ulan ay siguradong nabuo ang araw ko.
Ngunit may balyena pa sa lata ng sardinas. Isang babaeng may kaunting edad na at may matabang katawan, lalo na ang hita, ang aking katabi. Kung umupo ay laging tagilid at walang ginawa kundi tumingin sa labas. Hindi nag-aabot ng bayad; hindi umaayos ng upo; wala! Walang paki, walang reaction.
Ang balyenang ito ang pangunahing dahilan ng pagdurusa ko sa tila habambuhay na paglalakbay ko sa lata ng sardinas. Ang tuhod ng balyenang ito ay walang ikinaiba sa kutsilyong nakabaon sa aking hita. Ilang beses na akong umaayos ng upo para man lang mapansin niya na nahihirapan ako, ngunit hindi pa rin kumikibo ang balyena. Hindi ko mawari kung sadyang nakadilat ang balyena kapag natutulog, hindi marunong makiramdam, o manhid lang talaga ito.
Hinayaan ko na lang. Sadyang may mga taong makasarili at ang magagawa ko ay hindi maging isa sa kanila. Sapagkat sa huli, sardinas man o balyena, iisang lata lamang naman ang aming ginugulungan.
Parang lata ng sardinas na gumugulong sa Commonwealth Avenue ang jeep na nasakyan ko. Itodo man ng drayber ang bulusok ng makina hanggang malagong ulap-ulan na ang hithitin ng tambutso eh makikita sa labas na tila umaatras pa rin ang sasakyan sa sobrang kabagalan. Pinatungan pa ng mabigat na trapik sa ginagawang kalsada at wisikan pa ng ulan ay siguradong nabuo ang araw ko.
Ngunit may balyena pa sa lata ng sardinas. Isang babaeng may kaunting edad na at may matabang katawan, lalo na ang hita, ang aking katabi. Kung umupo ay laging tagilid at walang ginawa kundi tumingin sa labas. Hindi nag-aabot ng bayad; hindi umaayos ng upo; wala! Walang paki, walang reaction.
Ang balyenang ito ang pangunahing dahilan ng pagdurusa ko sa tila habambuhay na paglalakbay ko sa lata ng sardinas. Ang tuhod ng balyenang ito ay walang ikinaiba sa kutsilyong nakabaon sa aking hita. Ilang beses na akong umaayos ng upo para man lang mapansin niya na nahihirapan ako, ngunit hindi pa rin kumikibo ang balyena. Hindi ko mawari kung sadyang nakadilat ang balyena kapag natutulog, hindi marunong makiramdam, o manhid lang talaga ito.
Hinayaan ko na lang. Sadyang may mga taong makasarili at ang magagawa ko ay hindi maging isa sa kanila. Sapagkat sa huli, sardinas man o balyena, iisang lata lamang naman ang aming ginugulungan.
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Hephaestus
Here is an essay I wrote when I was in 4th year high school. The question was simple, "who is your favorite Greek god and why?" There is actually a longer version of this, but I forgot to save it (stupid me)
Hephaestus is my favorite Greek god not because of his works, but because he is the god of fire, bringing out the best in us. Fire is a double-edged sword; it is naturally destructive, but when controlled, becomes a very important part of our lives. From it, we crafted more deadly weapons: cannons, bazookas, and nuclear bombs. But from the same energy came about plastic, fuel, and even medicine. Bright and powerful, it cannot go unnoticed. Yet Hephaestus, the god of fire, volunteers to remain concealed in his workshop; the irony of the master smith. This only shows that Hephaestus has fully taken control of fire, and can use the full extent of its power to bring forth wonderful and marvelous works.
Furthermore, unlike other gods, Hephaestus works a lot and does not spend his time looking for women and flirting with them. Being a craftsman, he is patient, creative, and industrious. Ever since he was born, he was ugly and rejected. He got thrown out of Olympus, spurned by his wife, and was laughed at when he demanded justice. Yet, he was quiet and reserved, and is even a peace-maker between his parents who were the first to reject him. He redirected these emotions to his handiwork, melting the cold metal of revenge with the flames of his passion, molding them with his ingenious hands, and then finally quenching them in the cold water of his peacefulness to produce the most extraordinary and most beautiful creations of all. Like him, I also want to be a man of great tolerance, and someone who can bring out the best in others even in challenging times.
Hephaestus is my favorite Greek god not because of his works, but because he is the god of fire, bringing out the best in us. Fire is a double-edged sword; it is naturally destructive, but when controlled, becomes a very important part of our lives. From it, we crafted more deadly weapons: cannons, bazookas, and nuclear bombs. But from the same energy came about plastic, fuel, and even medicine. Bright and powerful, it cannot go unnoticed. Yet Hephaestus, the god of fire, volunteers to remain concealed in his workshop; the irony of the master smith. This only shows that Hephaestus has fully taken control of fire, and can use the full extent of its power to bring forth wonderful and marvelous works.
Furthermore, unlike other gods, Hephaestus works a lot and does not spend his time looking for women and flirting with them. Being a craftsman, he is patient, creative, and industrious. Ever since he was born, he was ugly and rejected. He got thrown out of Olympus, spurned by his wife, and was laughed at when he demanded justice. Yet, he was quiet and reserved, and is even a peace-maker between his parents who were the first to reject him. He redirected these emotions to his handiwork, melting the cold metal of revenge with the flames of his passion, molding them with his ingenious hands, and then finally quenching them in the cold water of his peacefulness to produce the most extraordinary and most beautiful creations of all. Like him, I also want to be a man of great tolerance, and someone who can bring out the best in others even in challenging times.
Sunday, October 20, 2013
How Much Does a Family Cost?
This is an article I wrote for our Economics Magazine in 4th year high school.
Families are important. It has existed way back before civilization did. No species would have survived if it wasn’t for the existence of families. Ironically, divorces, abortion, disrespect, rebellion, and running away from families are becoming more and more rampant nowadays. It seems that families are losing their importance. Or are they?
To measure how much a family costs to a person, we can also measure how much a family spends on that person (expenditure approach). Assume a fictional middle class high-school person named Marfred San Antonio in a family of five. Marfred was given vaccines after he was born, so he could have a greater immune system. He gets a BCG vaccine, which costs around P1700, another one for measles, which is around P1500. The vaccine for chicken pox is about P1200, and for MMR, P600 each shot for 2 shots. DPT and Polio vaccine require 3 shots and 3 booster shots costing P2500 each shot. The same dosage is needed for Hepatitis B and A vaccine, but each costing P700 and P2700 respectively. Lastly, immunization against typhoid fever is P1500 per shot for 2 shots. These total to P73,800. These vaccines are not only a pain to the family, but also to poor Marfred.
Man does not live on vaccines alone. Baby Marfred also needs food, clothing and shelter. His milk costs P900 per can, which can last for about 2 weeks. In his sixth month, his soft food might cost P35 a piece, eating once or twice a day. This gives a total of about P85000 for Marfred’s food. His clothing can get as cheap as P240 for three months and diaper for P8 a piece, giving a total of about P100,000 for Marfred’s basic necessities for 2 years.
Let us click the fast forward button on the remote of time and space. Marfred is now studying in a nearby school. Costs increase as one puts more input. Marfred’s food now costs P120 a day and his clothing also increases to P500 for three months. This sums up to about P140,000 for his 3 years of preschool.
Another click brings us to his elementary days. Here come new classmates, new lessons, new challenges, and new burdens, not only for Marfred, but also for his family. He is now a growing boy, and starts eating P150 worth of food a day. His clothing also now amount to P1200 for 4 months. Furthermore, he starts receiving allowance of P100 a week. His school is now a bit far that he needs to spend P200 a week for his transportation. That amounts to P443,700. It seems like six years in a public elementary school isn’t so cheap after all.
Marfred finally steps onto high school; not just on any ordinary high school, Philippine Science High School. He eats a lot more than before and spends P200 a day for food. His clothes are also very costly. P2000 are spent every 6 months. His allowance also increases to P300 a week. His high school is quite far from their home, and costs him P100 a day. His projects, class funds, and other educational spending reached P50000. A stunning total of P566,400. On second thought, six years in a public elementary school is cheap after all.
Throughout his life, Marfred is also using electricity, water and the house itself. To make things simpler, we can say that his electric and water bill costs P300 and P50 a month respectively since these values do not fluctuate very much. The house also has a net worth of P700,000 and therefore an equivalent annual cost of P28,000 assuming he lives in it for 25 years. P483,000 for his total utilities.
The San Antonio family spent a grand total of P1,806,900 for Marfred. Of course, you can guess that there is something wrong with this calculation. We missed out a lot of things. We did not bring into account the inflations and appreciations. Also, his parents are not freebies. They cost about P15,000,000 each in terms of the money spent on them. His three siblings are also worth a little less than he is, giving a total P35M. But, most importantly, the time spent for him by his mother and father is more valuable. The opportunity cost for this time is about P1000 per hour. Instead of earning P43,800,000 in 15 years, Mrs. San Antonio spent it on her beloved Marfred instead. This brings a total spending of P120M, which is equal to the family’s worth from Marfred’s point of view. These values are approximate, but not too far from the real value, so we may well say that the value ranges from P100 to P150M for a middle class teenager like Marfred.
But, the real value of the family lies in the very heart of economics: scarcity. No matter how many P120M you have, you cannot buy families, because there is only one family for you. This makes families invaluable, because once lost, there can be no replacement. There is so little supply and so much demand that the price exceed the cost by a factor of infinity. Not only that, there are things that we cannot simply put a price tag on, such as love, support, security, and the unbreakable ties that bring the family together. These things are exactly the things that we forget to value, but are the things that count the most. In any case, if you think your family is not good and unimportant, just think about the P120M they spent on you.
Families are important. It has existed way back before civilization did. No species would have survived if it wasn’t for the existence of families. Ironically, divorces, abortion, disrespect, rebellion, and running away from families are becoming more and more rampant nowadays. It seems that families are losing their importance. Or are they?
To measure how much a family costs to a person, we can also measure how much a family spends on that person (expenditure approach). Assume a fictional middle class high-school person named Marfred San Antonio in a family of five. Marfred was given vaccines after he was born, so he could have a greater immune system. He gets a BCG vaccine, which costs around P1700, another one for measles, which is around P1500. The vaccine for chicken pox is about P1200, and for MMR, P600 each shot for 2 shots. DPT and Polio vaccine require 3 shots and 3 booster shots costing P2500 each shot. The same dosage is needed for Hepatitis B and A vaccine, but each costing P700 and P2700 respectively. Lastly, immunization against typhoid fever is P1500 per shot for 2 shots. These total to P73,800. These vaccines are not only a pain to the family, but also to poor Marfred.
Man does not live on vaccines alone. Baby Marfred also needs food, clothing and shelter. His milk costs P900 per can, which can last for about 2 weeks. In his sixth month, his soft food might cost P35 a piece, eating once or twice a day. This gives a total of about P85000 for Marfred’s food. His clothing can get as cheap as P240 for three months and diaper for P8 a piece, giving a total of about P100,000 for Marfred’s basic necessities for 2 years.
Let us click the fast forward button on the remote of time and space. Marfred is now studying in a nearby school. Costs increase as one puts more input. Marfred’s food now costs P120 a day and his clothing also increases to P500 for three months. This sums up to about P140,000 for his 3 years of preschool.
Another click brings us to his elementary days. Here come new classmates, new lessons, new challenges, and new burdens, not only for Marfred, but also for his family. He is now a growing boy, and starts eating P150 worth of food a day. His clothing also now amount to P1200 for 4 months. Furthermore, he starts receiving allowance of P100 a week. His school is now a bit far that he needs to spend P200 a week for his transportation. That amounts to P443,700. It seems like six years in a public elementary school isn’t so cheap after all.
Marfred finally steps onto high school; not just on any ordinary high school, Philippine Science High School. He eats a lot more than before and spends P200 a day for food. His clothes are also very costly. P2000 are spent every 6 months. His allowance also increases to P300 a week. His high school is quite far from their home, and costs him P100 a day. His projects, class funds, and other educational spending reached P50000. A stunning total of P566,400. On second thought, six years in a public elementary school is cheap after all.
Throughout his life, Marfred is also using electricity, water and the house itself. To make things simpler, we can say that his electric and water bill costs P300 and P50 a month respectively since these values do not fluctuate very much. The house also has a net worth of P700,000 and therefore an equivalent annual cost of P28,000 assuming he lives in it for 25 years. P483,000 for his total utilities.
The San Antonio family spent a grand total of P1,806,900 for Marfred. Of course, you can guess that there is something wrong with this calculation. We missed out a lot of things. We did not bring into account the inflations and appreciations. Also, his parents are not freebies. They cost about P15,000,000 each in terms of the money spent on them. His three siblings are also worth a little less than he is, giving a total P35M. But, most importantly, the time spent for him by his mother and father is more valuable. The opportunity cost for this time is about P1000 per hour. Instead of earning P43,800,000 in 15 years, Mrs. San Antonio spent it on her beloved Marfred instead. This brings a total spending of P120M, which is equal to the family’s worth from Marfred’s point of view. These values are approximate, but not too far from the real value, so we may well say that the value ranges from P100 to P150M for a middle class teenager like Marfred.
But, the real value of the family lies in the very heart of economics: scarcity. No matter how many P120M you have, you cannot buy families, because there is only one family for you. This makes families invaluable, because once lost, there can be no replacement. There is so little supply and so much demand that the price exceed the cost by a factor of infinity. Not only that, there are things that we cannot simply put a price tag on, such as love, support, security, and the unbreakable ties that bring the family together. These things are exactly the things that we forget to value, but are the things that count the most. In any case, if you think your family is not good and unimportant, just think about the P120M they spent on you.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Pangarap sa Dilim
Isang malamig na gabi habang naglalakad pauwi sa aming lugar nang masilayan ko ang magnanay: isang batang mapayat na mga apat o limang taong gulang at isang nanay din na kung titingnan ay kasinpayat lamang din ng kaniyang anak. Nahiya na akong pagmasdan pa sila sa ilalim ng dilaw na ilaw ng poste ng kanilang katapat na kapitbahay.
Wala silang ilaw. Hindi ko ito agad napansin ni napag-isipan lamang; nalaman ko lang ito nang sabihin sa akin ng aking ama. Palibhasa'y ako'y hindi palalabas ng bahay, at kung lalabas ma'y may pasok sa kolehiyo o may pakay sa ibang lunan; kahit saan basta't hindi sa aming lugar. Dahil dito, hindi ko gaano kilala ang aming mga kapitbahay at lalo naman itong mag-inang ito na dalawang kanto pa ang layo mula sa amin.
Hindi ko alam ang pakiramdam ng mabuhay sa literal na dilim gabi-gabi, dahil ako ay ipinanganak sa liwanag: literal na liwanag. Ilang segundo bago magtanghaling tapat nang ako'y iluwal mula sa sinapupunan ng aking ina noong ika-6 ng Mayo labingwalong taon na ring nakalilipas. Ako'y panganay ng isang buo na pamilya. Masunurin, mabait, matalino, o kung minsan pa'y henyo ang turing sa akin ng iba na hindi ko naman iniintindi, pinaniniwalaan, o iniinda. Marahil kung mas kilala nila ako ay hindi nila masasabi iyon.
Hindi nila ako kilala ng lubos ng marami nguni't mas lalo namang hindi ko kilala ang mag-inang nasa tapat ng poste ng kanilang kapitbahay. Nakaupo sila sa semento't grabang hagdan kung saan lumalapat ang kanilang luntiang gate, nagbabasa sa ilalim ng malamlam na dilaw na ilaw ng poste. Sa sandaling sumulyap ako sa kanilang mga mukha'y nakita ko ang kunot na noo ng nanay, ang mahigpit na hawak sa libro, ang matigas na pagpihit ng kaniyang hintuturo sa pahina ng aklat na kaniyang hawak, at ang asim sa mukha ng batang humahagulgol at nagmamakaawang, "Ayoko na..."
Hindi ko man sila kilala'y sa sandaling iyon ay naintindihan ko sila. Naintindihan ko kung bakit galit na galit ang nanay. Naintindihan ko kung bakit pasigaw siyang nagtuturo ng English sa kanyang anak. Naintindihan ko ang dahilan sa likod ng bawat hagulgol at bawat luhang umagos sa mata ng bata, Naintindihan ko sapagkat dumaan din ako rito.
Noong bata ako'y pinagagalitan din ako ni mama. Lumuluha din ako sa harap ng kaniyang flashcards at multiplication table na kailangan kong masagutan sa loob ng wala pang isang segundo. Kailangang napakabilis, palibhasa'y ako'y isang panlaban sa palahok na pinamamahalaan ng Mathematics Teachers Association of the Philippines o MTAP. Sumigaw din ako ng "Ayoko na", at sinagot din ako ni mama ng "Hindi!" Natawag din akong "tanga" habang nagngingittngit sa inis si mama.
Nguni't hindi palaging ganito sa amin. Hindi ko lamang alam sa magnanay na ito, pero ang sa amin ay ganito lamang ang eksena tuwing galit na galit si mama. Pero sa loob na loob niya'y hindi naman talaga ako "tanga", dahil naniniwala pa siyang kaya ko. Naniniwala siya dahil nasa akin ang kaniyang pangarap.
Marahil dito nga kami nagkaiba ng batang humahagulgol: hindi ako sumuko at hindi rin ako sinukuan ng aking ina. Sabihin na natin na hindi kami sumuko dahil halos taon-tao'y umaabot naman ako sa Sectoral Division, nananalo sa iba pang mga palahok at patuloy na "honor student." Pero kahit anong sabihin ay hindi pa rin kami sumuko. May mga nakita at kilalang tao na hindi naman uliran ang katayuan noong mga bata sila ngunit ngayo'y makikita ang kanilang pagsusumikap. Marahil kung sinukuan sila ng kanilang mga ina ay hindi sila nakatungtong ngayon sa the University of the Philippines Diliman (UP Diliman).
May mga kamag-anak akong nabalitaan kong hindi na kumuha ng entrance exam sa Philippine Science High School (Pisay) o sa UP Diliman dahil daw alam na nilang hindi papasa. Sobrang nakakadismaya. Eh ano kung magsayang ng isang araw? Eh ano kung sumubok? Eh ano kung bumagsak? Sa tingin ba nila'y "ok lang" ang ganoon? Ang nakita ko lang sa kanila ay hindi na sila nangangarap ng mataas. Gaano man kalaki ang possibilidad, kapag hindi sumubok ay nawawala lahat. Kung bubong ang pangarap, sa lupa ang lagpak. Kung langit ang pangarap, sa bubong babagsak.
Nalulungkot ako tuwing nakikita ko ang libu-libong mga anak ng liwanag na hindi na nagsusumikap sa buhay at pag-aaral. Hindi dahil may ilaw na sa ating tahanan ay hindi na tayo dapat mangarap. Nasasaktan ako tuwing nakikita ko ang mga magulang na pinag-uusapan ang anak nila na "bobo", "tanga", at "mahina ang ulo" na tila ba wala nang pag-asa. Hindi dahil walang ilaw sa inyong tahanan ay hindi na dapat kayo mangarap.
Mangarap ka, batang humahagulgol, dahil nasa'yo rin ang katuparan ng pangarap ng iyong ina.
Wala silang ilaw. Hindi ko ito agad napansin ni napag-isipan lamang; nalaman ko lang ito nang sabihin sa akin ng aking ama. Palibhasa'y ako'y hindi palalabas ng bahay, at kung lalabas ma'y may pasok sa kolehiyo o may pakay sa ibang lunan; kahit saan basta't hindi sa aming lugar. Dahil dito, hindi ko gaano kilala ang aming mga kapitbahay at lalo naman itong mag-inang ito na dalawang kanto pa ang layo mula sa amin.
Hindi ko alam ang pakiramdam ng mabuhay sa literal na dilim gabi-gabi, dahil ako ay ipinanganak sa liwanag: literal na liwanag. Ilang segundo bago magtanghaling tapat nang ako'y iluwal mula sa sinapupunan ng aking ina noong ika-6 ng Mayo labingwalong taon na ring nakalilipas. Ako'y panganay ng isang buo na pamilya. Masunurin, mabait, matalino, o kung minsan pa'y henyo ang turing sa akin ng iba na hindi ko naman iniintindi, pinaniniwalaan, o iniinda. Marahil kung mas kilala nila ako ay hindi nila masasabi iyon.
Hindi nila ako kilala ng lubos ng marami nguni't mas lalo namang hindi ko kilala ang mag-inang nasa tapat ng poste ng kanilang kapitbahay. Nakaupo sila sa semento't grabang hagdan kung saan lumalapat ang kanilang luntiang gate, nagbabasa sa ilalim ng malamlam na dilaw na ilaw ng poste. Sa sandaling sumulyap ako sa kanilang mga mukha'y nakita ko ang kunot na noo ng nanay, ang mahigpit na hawak sa libro, ang matigas na pagpihit ng kaniyang hintuturo sa pahina ng aklat na kaniyang hawak, at ang asim sa mukha ng batang humahagulgol at nagmamakaawang, "Ayoko na..."
Hindi ko man sila kilala'y sa sandaling iyon ay naintindihan ko sila. Naintindihan ko kung bakit galit na galit ang nanay. Naintindihan ko kung bakit pasigaw siyang nagtuturo ng English sa kanyang anak. Naintindihan ko ang dahilan sa likod ng bawat hagulgol at bawat luhang umagos sa mata ng bata, Naintindihan ko sapagkat dumaan din ako rito.
Noong bata ako'y pinagagalitan din ako ni mama. Lumuluha din ako sa harap ng kaniyang flashcards at multiplication table na kailangan kong masagutan sa loob ng wala pang isang segundo. Kailangang napakabilis, palibhasa'y ako'y isang panlaban sa palahok na pinamamahalaan ng Mathematics Teachers Association of the Philippines o MTAP. Sumigaw din ako ng "Ayoko na", at sinagot din ako ni mama ng "Hindi!" Natawag din akong "tanga" habang nagngingittngit sa inis si mama.
Nguni't hindi palaging ganito sa amin. Hindi ko lamang alam sa magnanay na ito, pero ang sa amin ay ganito lamang ang eksena tuwing galit na galit si mama. Pero sa loob na loob niya'y hindi naman talaga ako "tanga", dahil naniniwala pa siyang kaya ko. Naniniwala siya dahil nasa akin ang kaniyang pangarap.
Marahil dito nga kami nagkaiba ng batang humahagulgol: hindi ako sumuko at hindi rin ako sinukuan ng aking ina. Sabihin na natin na hindi kami sumuko dahil halos taon-tao'y umaabot naman ako sa Sectoral Division, nananalo sa iba pang mga palahok at patuloy na "honor student." Pero kahit anong sabihin ay hindi pa rin kami sumuko. May mga nakita at kilalang tao na hindi naman uliran ang katayuan noong mga bata sila ngunit ngayo'y makikita ang kanilang pagsusumikap. Marahil kung sinukuan sila ng kanilang mga ina ay hindi sila nakatungtong ngayon sa the University of the Philippines Diliman (UP Diliman).
May mga kamag-anak akong nabalitaan kong hindi na kumuha ng entrance exam sa Philippine Science High School (Pisay) o sa UP Diliman dahil daw alam na nilang hindi papasa. Sobrang nakakadismaya. Eh ano kung magsayang ng isang araw? Eh ano kung sumubok? Eh ano kung bumagsak? Sa tingin ba nila'y "ok lang" ang ganoon? Ang nakita ko lang sa kanila ay hindi na sila nangangarap ng mataas. Gaano man kalaki ang possibilidad, kapag hindi sumubok ay nawawala lahat. Kung bubong ang pangarap, sa lupa ang lagpak. Kung langit ang pangarap, sa bubong babagsak.
Nalulungkot ako tuwing nakikita ko ang libu-libong mga anak ng liwanag na hindi na nagsusumikap sa buhay at pag-aaral. Hindi dahil may ilaw na sa ating tahanan ay hindi na tayo dapat mangarap. Nasasaktan ako tuwing nakikita ko ang mga magulang na pinag-uusapan ang anak nila na "bobo", "tanga", at "mahina ang ulo" na tila ba wala nang pag-asa. Hindi dahil walang ilaw sa inyong tahanan ay hindi na dapat kayo mangarap.
Mangarap ka, batang humahagulgol, dahil nasa'yo rin ang katuparan ng pangarap ng iyong ina.
Friday, October 4, 2013
"Hi"
Hi mo pa lang, high na ako
Wala nang nagawa kundi yumuko
At ngumiti sa tuwa at lukso ng puso
Mahumaling ng lubos sa ganda mo
Hanggang ngayon hindi ko maisip
Kung ba't "Hello!" lamang ang aking nasambit
Pasensya na kung torpe ang iyong naakit
Pangako hindi na muling mauulit
Dal'wang taon nang ika'y mahalin
Di nagbago ang aking pagtingin
Tibok ng puso'y ikaw pa rin
Sana ika'y aking makapiling
Wala nang nagawa kundi yumuko
At ngumiti sa tuwa at lukso ng puso
Mahumaling ng lubos sa ganda mo
Hanggang ngayon hindi ko maisip
Kung ba't "Hello!" lamang ang aking nasambit
Pasensya na kung torpe ang iyong naakit
Pangako hindi na muling mauulit
Dal'wang taon nang ika'y mahalin
Di nagbago ang aking pagtingin
Tibok ng puso'y ikaw pa rin
Sana ika'y aking makapiling
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)