I guess the post yesterday sounded a little mean. Anyway, those really were my feelings then and as you well know, I can't control my emotions. I mean, I can control my outward actions but I can't keep my emotions in check, and thus my thoughts. I remember this Tumblr poetry that I saw from Courtney's post long ago,
"Hearts are wild creatures; that's why ribs are cages."
I don't think it's really poetic or anything, more like witty and really smart. But it applies to me because I can't control my emotions. For example, when I talk to her I can't stop myself from smiling, or when I am mad I can't stop myself from taking revenge. Although revenge for me is cutting my presence off that person, which isn't exactly really helpful. Another peculiar thing about my emotions is that I can reconcile two different ones, even opposites by rationalizing my actions. Which I imagine would look confusing to other people because usually they think that a person can only have one emotion at a time. Not me.
But long ago I sealed my emotions and I should say I was more productive. But it wasn't as much fun as it is now. Getting hurt is a risk, but it's well worth it.
I'm talking too much about my emotions. (In my more logical moods I think about these things.)
Well I guess that's it for now.
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