It's been weeks!! I have a lot to tell, and maybe I should go tell them before I totally forget. I think I forgot some details already.
Well actually it's been just 9 days. So May 23 Saturday I went to the last PE class of the sem. It was our finals and I lost. The match was interesting since I was up against Gab and I got a really, really good first hit (it was a low strike, simultaneous dodge against his right shoulder load slash) but the stick got stuck in between his legs and I was disarmed unintentionally. If I held on to the stick it would've been bent. So I lost. Too bad.
Apparently there's an Arnis club and I wanted to go this Saturday but I couldn't because we had things to do, which I'll tell later.
May 24 Sunday nothing much happened, I mostly chilled.
May 25 to May 27 Monday to Wednesday is overnight! I didn't go home. Monday night is the star's special scare night (every night is scare night to her). I took a shower at NIGS and it's really convenient that they have a shower. Tuesday night I didn't sleep straight since I monitored the reactor from 2 AM until 6 or 7. I'm not sure anymore.
May 28 Thursday is PD Defense and Thesis Defense. I was surprised but not shocked (surprised because I didn't know, not shocked because I was chill. Like I tweeted, I used to be chill because I don't care but now I'm chill because I know He cares.) Anyway the star said I look nice in polo and slacks which I think is partly because of the rumba stance. I imagine doing rumba walk in front while reporting and I think it looks nice.
We didn't dance this week because they are all busy and so I am but I'm sure to make time for it because, you know, priorities :))
Anyway the PD was terrible because I was more or less sleepless and my brain stopped functioning. Marion and Raf and Raei's was better because they were sabaw while I'm just plain blank. That's my brain's way of coping.
And then I did FTIR analysis on Friday and also did not sleep on Saturday to fix the PD.
And today I tried to learn SEM analysis and I found out that the resolution isn't really high, then I editted the script which was too rigid and unconnected. Oh well, like the star said, we'll be fine. Not the best tho. Kuya J4 is a big help though.
I'm annoyed how selfish Katarina can get. That's bordering on sabotage. She feels like she did a lot but actually there's a lot of cleaning up after. I want to rant a lot about it but I have to sleep now :) I'll talk again once things are over.
Spiritually, I'm in a terrible state but I can see God working and that's enough for me.
Sunday, May 31, 2015
Friday, May 22, 2015
May 22 2015 Friday
So I wasn't really tired last night, more like melancholic. Because every once in a while I'll remember that yellow letter and think "sayang." Because it could've been. Because honestly it would cross my mind every once in a while. I said what I said not because I didn't want to, but because I want another.
And I don't want to give half a heart.
That's why I'm giving it my all this time. I mean, not forcefully. But I'll focus on this and this alone.
Well things are going okay I guess, academically. I don't really think much about it now. It's so much nicer to think about people and helping people. I guess it's a different kind of thing that you never see on paper. Because papers aren't all that matter.
What matters? Faith, expressing itself through love. I don't know, I don't see much point in doing anything else. I can't see my future. I don't have a dream. I want to do something, though. Something not normal. I want to help people, I think. I don't know. I suck at that. I mean, I think about going to remote places and all, but what about here? There are so many 'churches' and so many 'christians' that are so content about their lives. The need is different. What to do? Where to go?
Maybe I'll stay in Petron? Maybe not? I'm not sure. Like I always say, and now I tell this to myself, you never know the future. I guess it's useless to worry about it and I'll just do what I can now.
Tonight we danced. And I can't express how happy I am. Or how I even feel. A bit like ecstatic and shy at the same time. Then again, I think she feels a little bit awkward with me. Or maybe I'm just putting too much meaning on everything. I won't think about it.
So I bought food at area 2 after and I bought quesadilla, beef with mushroom, and sisig. Turns out Elise' s favorite meat wasn't pork and that was a product of her adjusting to my preferences back in Petron days. And that they supposedly eat a lot of chicken.
Then I slept at 9:30 PM and then set the alarm and dreamt of morning then realized the alarm didn't set off then I looked but it was just 11:26 PM. It'll be a long night.
And I don't want to give half a heart.
That's why I'm giving it my all this time. I mean, not forcefully. But I'll focus on this and this alone.
Well things are going okay I guess, academically. I don't really think much about it now. It's so much nicer to think about people and helping people. I guess it's a different kind of thing that you never see on paper. Because papers aren't all that matter.
What matters? Faith, expressing itself through love. I don't know, I don't see much point in doing anything else. I can't see my future. I don't have a dream. I want to do something, though. Something not normal. I want to help people, I think. I don't know. I suck at that. I mean, I think about going to remote places and all, but what about here? There are so many 'churches' and so many 'christians' that are so content about their lives. The need is different. What to do? Where to go?
Maybe I'll stay in Petron? Maybe not? I'm not sure. Like I always say, and now I tell this to myself, you never know the future. I guess it's useless to worry about it and I'll just do what I can now.
Tonight we danced. And I can't express how happy I am. Or how I even feel. A bit like ecstatic and shy at the same time. Then again, I think she feels a little bit awkward with me. Or maybe I'm just putting too much meaning on everything. I won't think about it.
So I bought food at area 2 after and I bought quesadilla, beef with mushroom, and sisig. Turns out Elise' s favorite meat wasn't pork and that was a product of her adjusting to my preferences back in Petron days. And that they supposedly eat a lot of chicken.
Then I slept at 9:30 PM and then set the alarm and dreamt of morning then realized the alarm didn't set off then I looked but it was just 11:26 PM. It'll be a long night.
Thursday, May 21, 2015
May 21 2015 Thursday
Nothing much happened today except for being locked out of the GC room. It was a bit fun and now I want to learn to pick locks. But I'm too tired now and too lazy to write with feelings.
I wonder if my parents know that we kinds changed topic. Scrap the kinda. Anyway that was the change in catalyst so nothing new there too.
I wonder if my parents know that we kinds changed topic. Scrap the kinda. Anyway that was the change in catalyst so nothing new there too.
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
May 20 2015 Wednesday
Today we did thesis! As usual.
Last night we still didn't produce hydrogen using TiO2 even with the UV lamp from the clean bench. So we are going to change the catalyst to analyze catalysis of seawater. Which is sad. But this is still within expectations, maybe because I expect a lot of things. Although I did hope and pray a lot that we will produce hydrogen using our catalyst.
I like that L described how she felt and she seems admitted and logical now.
Now we are doing random things more or less.
Chan is having problems about pizza. Jugnos. Well, their customer service is so terrible. But chan still manages to keep her cool.
Anyway I went to NSRI and ate Rose there knew Doc Jose. I tested for antimicrobial properties against E. Coli and it's P260 per sample and we have 5 samples. It's supposed to be P600 per sample for outsiders but we have discount so that's P1300 if you are too lazy to do simple math. I'm not sure if we should do methylene blue but I think I can do it tomorrow.
We got free pizza from sir Tony! Yey! And we ate with Chan and Aaron. And LC and Hanna brought me a slice of Yellow Cab pizza! Free dinner! Thank you guys. Thank you Lord :)
Gotta finish PD!
Last night we still didn't produce hydrogen using TiO2 even with the UV lamp from the clean bench. So we are going to change the catalyst to analyze catalysis of seawater. Which is sad. But this is still within expectations, maybe because I expect a lot of things. Although I did hope and pray a lot that we will produce hydrogen using our catalyst.
I like that L described how she felt and she seems admitted and logical now.
Now we are doing random things more or less.
Chan is having problems about pizza. Jugnos. Well, their customer service is so terrible. But chan still manages to keep her cool.
Anyway I went to NSRI and ate Rose there knew Doc Jose. I tested for antimicrobial properties against E. Coli and it's P260 per sample and we have 5 samples. It's supposed to be P600 per sample for outsiders but we have discount so that's P1300 if you are too lazy to do simple math. I'm not sure if we should do methylene blue but I think I can do it tomorrow.
We got free pizza from sir Tony! Yey! And we ate with Chan and Aaron. And LC and Hanna brought me a slice of Yellow Cab pizza! Free dinner! Thank you guys. Thank you Lord :)
Gotta finish PD!
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
May 19 2015 Tuesday
Today I bought her milk tea!
But she doesn't like it. I'll buy something different next time until I get her taste.
Our lab also ate Friuli before that. I was with Kuya J4, Ate Shiela, and Elise. The tuna carbonara and the angel hair putanesca and the margarita pizza were all good. The all-meat pizza was good too but I preferred the margarita.
Then we did thesis all the time.
I want to finish PD too.
But she doesn't like it. I'll buy something different next time until I get her taste.
Our lab also ate Friuli before that. I was with Kuya J4, Ate Shiela, and Elise. The tuna carbonara and the angel hair putanesca and the margarita pizza were all good. The all-meat pizza was good too but I preferred the margarita.
Then we did thesis all the time.
I want to finish PD too.
Monday, May 18, 2015
May 18 2015 Monday
Today I didn't accomplish my mission. Well I will always be on the lookout for situations.
I talked to Jam today and she is cute and honest as usual. We talked about group pet peeves (not so minor, haha) and I said how I am resigned to whatever happens and how I have forgiven and how I will not cushion the consequences.
Today we did a run. There was no result in the morning again (as expected) and we found out a reactor leak so I covered it with electrical tape which didn't work but we went ahead with it anyway. Then we asked for ma'am hya's catalyst and solution to settle if our catalyst is the issue once and for all and she gave it to us. She was amusing as usual especially when they were talking about the constipated smile (which I didn't know because I don't look at her pictures in FB).
It's always funny when people ask "what are you investigating" or "why saltwater" and then I gesture.
Yes I'm also looking forward to the colloquium. I think it will be amusing.
I couldn't do any PD because I have to be on standby for thesis.
Edit: There is hydrogen using ma'am hya's catalyst! Good news: the reactor is working! Bad news: the catalyst is not. The bad news far outweighs the good news. This means that all our work for the past months are useless haha.
I saw Aaron after a long time and he is still the same. They are still the same.
I'm sad that I can't make her laugh and smile so much. I won't give up though and still try to be friends with her again like before, with all the remaining time that I've got.
Anyway also about the touchy issue I notice every once in a while I still can't stop myself. I'll be more mindful.
I talked to Jam today and she is cute and honest as usual. We talked about group pet peeves (not so minor, haha) and I said how I am resigned to whatever happens and how I have forgiven and how I will not cushion the consequences.
Today we did a run. There was no result in the morning again (as expected) and we found out a reactor leak so I covered it with electrical tape which didn't work but we went ahead with it anyway. Then we asked for ma'am hya's catalyst and solution to settle if our catalyst is the issue once and for all and she gave it to us. She was amusing as usual especially when they were talking about the constipated smile (which I didn't know because I don't look at her pictures in FB).
It's always funny when people ask "what are you investigating" or "why saltwater" and then I gesture.
Yes I'm also looking forward to the colloquium. I think it will be amusing.
I couldn't do any PD because I have to be on standby for thesis.
Edit: There is hydrogen using ma'am hya's catalyst! Good news: the reactor is working! Bad news: the catalyst is not. The bad news far outweighs the good news. This means that all our work for the past months are useless haha.
I saw Aaron after a long time and he is still the same. They are still the same.
I'm sad that I can't make her laugh and smile so much. I won't give up though and still try to be friends with her again like before, with all the remaining time that I've got.
Anyway also about the touchy issue I notice every once in a while I still can't stop myself. I'll be more mindful.
Sunday, May 17, 2015
May 17 2015 Sunday
Preliminary post! Will edit later. I feel I want to write that last thought.
Today I met Kim in Kenny Roger's SM Fairview! It's funny.
I also took 4 SLs from church.
The star is saying something about her dream. Edit: OKAY THAT WAS REALLY WEIRD. Hahaha I don't even dream of that. How I wish.
I always feel tempted to take the easy way out and just vanish from people's lives completely just like what I did before. No it won't be easy for me too, I loved so much after all, but it's possible. I have done that before, turn mys eyes away till I am numb from guilt. But I have also learned that is cowardly and rude and it will hurt people so this time, I will stick to my words and continue to give it my all (within bounds, of course). And when I have given all and lost, then and only then will I stop. And then, and only then will I move on.
While doing PD I felt a little lonely again. I see a lot of posts on FB and I feel jealous for some reason. It's actually this that keeps me a lot from working because then I would look for someone to talk to. Then I thought I realize that it was because I want attention from people. And it bothered me to think if that is right or not. So I searched again and found these:
http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/acclaim-for-christ-vs-craving-praise
http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/whose-approval-do-you-crave
(Yeah, if you haven't noticed I like the articles from desiringgod.org. Very sound and Biblical advice.)
So it's my ego acting up again. I should focus on God instead. The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
I also played LoL today and I had a little fun.
Today I met Kim in Kenny Roger's SM Fairview! It's funny.
I also took 4 SLs from church.
The star is saying something about her dream. Edit: OKAY THAT WAS REALLY WEIRD. Hahaha I don't even dream of that. How I wish.
I always feel tempted to take the easy way out and just vanish from people's lives completely just like what I did before. No it won't be easy for me too, I loved so much after all, but it's possible. I have done that before, turn mys eyes away till I am numb from guilt. But I have also learned that is cowardly and rude and it will hurt people so this time, I will stick to my words and continue to give it my all (within bounds, of course). And when I have given all and lost, then and only then will I stop. And then, and only then will I move on.
While doing PD I felt a little lonely again. I see a lot of posts on FB and I feel jealous for some reason. It's actually this that keeps me a lot from working because then I would look for someone to talk to. Then I thought I realize that it was because I want attention from people. And it bothered me to think if that is right or not. So I searched again and found these:
http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/acclaim-for-christ-vs-craving-praise
http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/whose-approval-do-you-crave
(Yeah, if you haven't noticed I like the articles from desiringgod.org. Very sound and Biblical advice.)
So it's my ego acting up again. I should focus on God instead. The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
I also played LoL today and I had a little fun.
Saturday, May 16, 2015
May 16 2015 Saturday
Today I woke up early. It was around 4:30 I think. Because by the time I finished praying about last night's plan I went down and woke up for good and it was around 5 pm. Bulk of my prayers is to keep my focus because my mind wanders off a lot. Like for example I'd think how pretty ate Gia (not sure of the spelling) and Hesed and Yumi are and then I'd remember ate Aiah and then I'd scrap that and think of the plans then I'd think of what I want to happen which is very selfish and then I'd realize it's selfish and then scrap that again and focus on the plans. It would happen for lots of cycles. That's why I think it is 30 minutes. But I'm not sure because I don't have a clock and my mind moves really fast.
Then I bought breakfast and I opted for plain rice because it is hard to find good fried rice. I wanted fish fillet too but they weren't selling this time.
Then I was supposed to go meet pastor but the prayer concert last night was long. Edit: I wasn't able to talk to him about ate Mich's concern.
Then I went to school and as I was about to go to UP gym (I just got off the FX with my brother) I read the texts to go buy things. So I went to SM north and got lost going to annex for ACE hardware for maybe 10 minutes and when I went there there was no stock. Then when I checked out my bag I thought I lost my powerbank and I became suspicious of the man there but when I called my dad, mom said it was at home.
Then I went to the other "hardware" store but that one is useless. So I went to Trinoma and there was no ACE only Handyman. I bought a lamp with the exact same specs. Only Firefly brand supplies that kind of lamp.
Then I bought KFC for the star and went to the lab to drop off my stuff.
The warm-up + sparring drills was super difficult today to the point that I had some cramps by the time we sparred. I think I put up a fight but the cramps really kept me from moving so oh well.
I like che-che a bit. She's very responsible and polite and nice.
Then I went back to DChE to help out but I missed a lot so I didn't really know what to do and there was no hydrogen. Which is sad. I will study on Gas Chrom too so I can operate it better. The computer had a blue screen and here's a picture.
Also we played with liquid nitrogen.
We tried algae, tissue, detergent, latex gloves, nitrile gloves, rubber tubing, etc.
The small particles that move around are amusing too.
Then I went home with her and we went to Toys R Us and left at around 7. She's really cute when she's looking at those models intently and especially that pout when she was disappointed that she didn't buy the chibi-ish of what she likes last year since it is phased out now, almost.
She has good taste in gundams.
Then she talked about lots of interesting things and I think she got tired because I kinda asked her to. As usual the tired me would listen all the way (it's what I do best, not make witty comments).
Next time I'll let her not talk so she can rest.
Then I bought breakfast and I opted for plain rice because it is hard to find good fried rice. I wanted fish fillet too but they weren't selling this time.
Then I was supposed to go meet pastor but the prayer concert last night was long. Edit: I wasn't able to talk to him about ate Mich's concern.
Then I went to school and as I was about to go to UP gym (I just got off the FX with my brother) I read the texts to go buy things. So I went to SM north and got lost going to annex for ACE hardware for maybe 10 minutes and when I went there there was no stock. Then when I checked out my bag I thought I lost my powerbank and I became suspicious of the man there but when I called my dad, mom said it was at home.
Then I went to the other "hardware" store but that one is useless. So I went to Trinoma and there was no ACE only Handyman. I bought a lamp with the exact same specs. Only Firefly brand supplies that kind of lamp.
Then I bought KFC for the star and went to the lab to drop off my stuff.
The warm-up + sparring drills was super difficult today to the point that I had some cramps by the time we sparred. I think I put up a fight but the cramps really kept me from moving so oh well.
I like che-che a bit. She's very responsible and polite and nice.
Then I went back to DChE to help out but I missed a lot so I didn't really know what to do and there was no hydrogen. Which is sad. I will study on Gas Chrom too so I can operate it better. The computer had a blue screen and here's a picture.
Also we played with liquid nitrogen.
The small particles that move around are amusing too.
Then I went home with her and we went to Toys R Us and left at around 7. She's really cute when she's looking at those models intently and especially that pout when she was disappointed that she didn't buy the chibi-ish of what she likes last year since it is phased out now, almost.
She has good taste in gundams.
Then she talked about lots of interesting things and I think she got tired because I kinda asked her to. As usual the tired me would listen all the way (it's what I do best, not make witty comments).
Next time I'll let her not talk so she can rest.
Friday, May 15, 2015
May 15 2015 Friday
Today we fixed the GC! We're good and ready to go for the experiments.
The FETS lab lunch was happy since ma'am RdL bought spaghetti and pichi-pichi for us!! Then we bought 2 KFC Chicken streetwise bucket meals for everyone. Ate Carla carried it to the lab along with 2-1.5 L of Mountain Dew which must have been really heavy for her.
Then I met with ate mich around 3 pm and we talked about life in general. Things around us, spiritual life, school, etc etc. It's nice to set time for friends who you rarely meet and intentionally keep connections and catch up with them. I want to be that kind of friend, too.
Then I went to the kick-off because I wanted to talk to Salvo but he is unresponsive and keeps saying "okay lang." Ate mich tagged along too. And MSK was there (haven't seen her in really really long!!!!!) and I also saw old friends who didn't really contact me xD.
But now I know why God led me here. Thank you ate Aiah.
The FETS lab lunch was happy since ma'am RdL bought spaghetti and pichi-pichi for us!! Then we bought 2 KFC Chicken streetwise bucket meals for everyone. Ate Carla carried it to the lab along with 2-1.5 L of Mountain Dew which must have been really heavy for her.
Then I met with ate mich around 3 pm and we talked about life in general. Things around us, spiritual life, school, etc etc. It's nice to set time for friends who you rarely meet and intentionally keep connections and catch up with them. I want to be that kind of friend, too.
Then I went to the kick-off because I wanted to talk to Salvo but he is unresponsive and keeps saying "okay lang." Ate mich tagged along too. And MSK was there (haven't seen her in really really long!!!!!) and I also saw old friends who didn't really contact me xD.
But now I know why God led me here. Thank you ate Aiah.
May 14 2015 Additional Notes
"It kills me" is a phrase from The Catcher in the Rye. Holsen Caulfield uses it whenever he finds something that makes him happy.
Thursday, May 14, 2015
May 14 2015 Thursday
Today is a happy day! More or less. So in the morning we transferred the FID PC to the TCD room and made some other arrangements like transfer the 1% H2:N2 tank to the room and get the regulator from ma'am Julie.
Then I was chill as usual and I played the guitar and I think I'm getting better a little but I still want to know how to do plucking and how it becomes spontaneous. And I wasn't able to do a lot of PD because I was thinking of thesis.
It was also the last meeting for CW10 today.
She was wearing this and she looked really... well HAHA let's not say it. But yeah. That killed me.
And salted wintermelon is currently my favorite milktea flavor. France chose the flavor for me.
Then later around 5 pm I was playing the guitar (again) then ma'am Emma came and announced that Shimadzu would come! It's sir RC again, the same one as last time (I won't disclose the name here because I found a lot of details of his life haha). For the record my first impression of him was a grumpy man. It's partly true but as I learned later he's actually nice.
So he setup the computer and he wasn't the most well-versed about it but well, he knows more than we do about the column. Then we did a lot and found that the old computer had no USB-serial driver so we had to resort to use the FID computer which we transferred earlier. Then it worked and we ate KFC which we delivered earlier.
WHen I went home I hitched a ride with sir RC because I found out by chatting with him that he is from Lagro and I'm from Almar. And his son studied in Fairview Baptist Academy which was where a daughter of our churchmate goes to (Mom later said it was the Batallas) and I figured I'd ask where church they belong to and he said it was VCF Robinson's which is near us too (we actually went there once I think before we went to GCF Northeast) and okay that's enough about his life someone they know might read this and information in the internet is dangerous hahaha. The thing is it's interesting to know that someone is actually a Christian. At least by identification/affiliation.
I lost my wallet in FETS again I think which is the only sad thing that happened today.
And then I was thinking of this on the way home which I also said to ate Shiela (I also told her the vision)
"What is a ministry?"
And I was thinking of a scenario of someone being ashamed while saying "I don't have a ministry"
Then someone replying "I thought you were a student?"
"Well yes"
"Isn't that a ministry?"
Then there's this thoughtful silence, then he continues
"Well, what is a ministry?"
Then the ashamed person wonders and thinks silently and that's it.
Well if I think about it ministry is serving God and serving God is serving people. I mean, it's not mostly about singing and preaching like churches limit themselves to, (although they are an important support to the church). After all the greatest commandment is "Love the Lord your God with all of you" and the second is LIKE IT "Love your neighbor as you love yourself." (emphasis mine, obviously). So loving our neighbors is like loving God. And it's very hard. But being a student we can love our neighbors too. Or being someone else, not just being a church person. So maybe next time someone asks me "what's your ministry" I'll reply "I'm a student" hahaha.
Hopefully I graduate soon! I mean Shimadzu coming out of nowhere isn't what I expected (Elise said earlier that they didn't have any plans of coming soon) and I believe that it is God's work. I mean well yes, everything is the work of the Sovereign Hand of God but this one is specifically telling me "chill, I've got this."
Which is the reason I chilled in the first place. So I have nothing more to say but to worship my God now xD
Then I was chill as usual and I played the guitar and I think I'm getting better a little but I still want to know how to do plucking and how it becomes spontaneous. And I wasn't able to do a lot of PD because I was thinking of thesis.
It was also the last meeting for CW10 today.
She was wearing this and she looked really... well HAHA let's not say it. But yeah. That killed me.
And salted wintermelon is currently my favorite milktea flavor. France chose the flavor for me.
Then later around 5 pm I was playing the guitar (again) then ma'am Emma came and announced that Shimadzu would come! It's sir RC again, the same one as last time (I won't disclose the name here because I found a lot of details of his life haha). For the record my first impression of him was a grumpy man. It's partly true but as I learned later he's actually nice.
So he setup the computer and he wasn't the most well-versed about it but well, he knows more than we do about the column. Then we did a lot and found that the old computer had no USB-serial driver so we had to resort to use the FID computer which we transferred earlier. Then it worked and we ate KFC which we delivered earlier.
WHen I went home I hitched a ride with sir RC because I found out by chatting with him that he is from Lagro and I'm from Almar. And his son studied in Fairview Baptist Academy which was where a daughter of our churchmate goes to (Mom later said it was the Batallas) and I figured I'd ask where church they belong to and he said it was VCF Robinson's which is near us too (we actually went there once I think before we went to GCF Northeast) and okay that's enough about his life someone they know might read this and information in the internet is dangerous hahaha. The thing is it's interesting to know that someone is actually a Christian. At least by identification/affiliation.
I lost my wallet in FETS again I think which is the only sad thing that happened today.
And then I was thinking of this on the way home which I also said to ate Shiela (I also told her the vision)
"What is a ministry?"
And I was thinking of a scenario of someone being ashamed while saying "I don't have a ministry"
Then someone replying "I thought you were a student?"
"Well yes"
"Isn't that a ministry?"
Then there's this thoughtful silence, then he continues
"Well, what is a ministry?"
Then the ashamed person wonders and thinks silently and that's it.
Well if I think about it ministry is serving God and serving God is serving people. I mean, it's not mostly about singing and preaching like churches limit themselves to, (although they are an important support to the church). After all the greatest commandment is "Love the Lord your God with all of you" and the second is LIKE IT "Love your neighbor as you love yourself." (emphasis mine, obviously). So loving our neighbors is like loving God. And it's very hard. But being a student we can love our neighbors too. Or being someone else, not just being a church person. So maybe next time someone asks me "what's your ministry" I'll reply "I'm a student" hahaha.
Hopefully I graduate soon! I mean Shimadzu coming out of nowhere isn't what I expected (Elise said earlier that they didn't have any plans of coming soon) and I believe that it is God's work. I mean well yes, everything is the work of the Sovereign Hand of God but this one is specifically telling me "chill, I've got this."
Which is the reason I chilled in the first place. So I have nothing more to say but to worship my God now xD
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
May 13 2015 Wednesday
Today Shimadzu didn't come again and the star is getting worried.
Also I talked to her and she says it's nothing. I'll believe her.
Anyway I've been thinking about this for a while. I think I have posted this before but I have some modifications so I want to post it again. This is why this post is tagged under "question."
--------------------------------------------------
Is salvation free?
No. Why would it be?
Because Christ paid for it-
Exactly. Christ paid for it, so how could it be free? The price of salvation is the blood of Christ. It is a free gift, yes, but it is the most expensive gift you can ever have. And to trample on it is the worst thing you could ever do. For even if you suffered in hell for all eternity you would never be able to pay for that moment when the Father turned His back on His Son.
What do you mean to trample on God's gift?
If I gave you flowers and you put it on the ground and trampled on it, wouldn't that be rude? In the same way, if we receive the gift and then only later to turn our back on it then there is no longer any sacrifice left for us. If you were a doctor and I gave you a new stethoscope, and you said "Thank you! Let me pay for it," and gave me twenty pesos, wouldn't that be rude? In the same way, if we try to earn our salvation or our right to enter God's presence using our measly good works then it would be the same as rejecting the gift altogether. If I gave you a P1000-peso bill and you used it as a tissue paper saying "It's fine, it's free anyway," wouldn't that be rude? In the same way if we use the freedom Christ bought for us as a license to sin then it would be the same as rejecting the gift altogether.
--------------------------------------------------
That's pretty much it. I think it's a nice analogy.
Also I talked to her and she says it's nothing. I'll believe her.
Anyway I've been thinking about this for a while. I think I have posted this before but I have some modifications so I want to post it again. This is why this post is tagged under "question."
--------------------------------------------------
Is salvation free?
No. Why would it be?
Because Christ paid for it-
Exactly. Christ paid for it, so how could it be free? The price of salvation is the blood of Christ. It is a free gift, yes, but it is the most expensive gift you can ever have. And to trample on it is the worst thing you could ever do. For even if you suffered in hell for all eternity you would never be able to pay for that moment when the Father turned His back on His Son.
What do you mean to trample on God's gift?
If I gave you flowers and you put it on the ground and trampled on it, wouldn't that be rude? In the same way, if we receive the gift and then only later to turn our back on it then there is no longer any sacrifice left for us. If you were a doctor and I gave you a new stethoscope, and you said "Thank you! Let me pay for it," and gave me twenty pesos, wouldn't that be rude? In the same way, if we try to earn our salvation or our right to enter God's presence using our measly good works then it would be the same as rejecting the gift altogether. If I gave you a P1000-peso bill and you used it as a tissue paper saying "It's fine, it's free anyway," wouldn't that be rude? In the same way if we use the freedom Christ bought for us as a license to sin then it would be the same as rejecting the gift altogether.
--------------------------------------------------
That's pretty much it. I think it's a nice analogy.
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
May 11 2015 Monday
Today the star asked, "what's the difference between Catholicism and Christianity?" I told the fundamental doctrine of salvation and she asked the standard question of "not being required to do good." And I also talked to Hyae about Destiny church and reasons for worship. She goes to church for blessings, but I said I'm not like that. So I think I want to clarify those things since they are actually closely related.
What separates Christianity? Simply, it is the risen Christ. Whatever religion or beliefs or belief system, that is the mark of a Christian: he believes in the risen Christ.
What do I mean believe? You could say that even demons believe in the risen Christ. But that's not the faith I'm talking about. It's hard to discuss in English; even James the servant of Christ dedicated a whole book to it and people still get confused.
In Filipino it's easier to understand. "Paniniwala" is different from "Pagtitiwala." The former refers to belief while the latter refers to giving of trust. Both in english is faith/belief.
When you say you have "paniniwala" in Christ you believe that He is God and He is the ultimate good and He is the Lord of all and He is the Savior. When you say have "pagtitiwala" in Christ you trust that His death on the cross is sufficient for salvation. You trust that whatever happens He is God in control of all and He is good. You trust Him as a Lord and obey all His commandments. You trust that He is the ultimate good and so you are willing to abandon everything in pursuit of Him.
Of course that's the tiny tip of the iceberg. I could go on and on about the attributes of God but it would take too long.
(From what I've read in Catholic doctrine Jesus isn't Savior per se because He only provides a way to be saved. It is still up to humans to save themselves.)
Which brings me to blessings. God is the ultimate good and to seek Him for His blessings is really missing the joy of it all. I really hope that God would reveal Himself to Hyae so she would see that. Probably not the same vision that I had but of course God is a creative and wonderfuk God.
Anyway faith is both "paniniwala" and "pagtitiwala." It's so much easier in Filipino. But I cannot think in Hebrew but I hear "faith" there means both as if it was only really one concept. The Greek concept of separating the mind from the body is really prevalent which makes reading the Bible so hard sometimes.
Anyway I'll read up more on Catholic doctrine sometimes. I believe that there are Catholics who are true Christians too. After all, if you believe in your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, you will be saved (Note the context of a Roman guard, who would need to commit treason for saying Jesus instead of Caesar. That's suicide. That's faith.) Faith in Christ goes beyond culture.
I also sent sir Jimievard a copy of the book Desiring God by John Piper. I hope he reads it. Well the bottomline there is AMDG but in a different perspective because it's not what we do or sacrifice for God, but what we enjoy that pleases Him. I'll read that book too after things are okay.
The GC Column is still not fixed. At this rate we really might not graduate hahaha :)). But "cast all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you."
What separates Christianity? Simply, it is the risen Christ. Whatever religion or beliefs or belief system, that is the mark of a Christian: he believes in the risen Christ.
What do I mean believe? You could say that even demons believe in the risen Christ. But that's not the faith I'm talking about. It's hard to discuss in English; even James the servant of Christ dedicated a whole book to it and people still get confused.
In Filipino it's easier to understand. "Paniniwala" is different from "Pagtitiwala." The former refers to belief while the latter refers to giving of trust. Both in english is faith/belief.
When you say you have "paniniwala" in Christ you believe that He is God and He is the ultimate good and He is the Lord of all and He is the Savior. When you say have "pagtitiwala" in Christ you trust that His death on the cross is sufficient for salvation. You trust that whatever happens He is God in control of all and He is good. You trust Him as a Lord and obey all His commandments. You trust that He is the ultimate good and so you are willing to abandon everything in pursuit of Him.
Of course that's the tiny tip of the iceberg. I could go on and on about the attributes of God but it would take too long.
(From what I've read in Catholic doctrine Jesus isn't Savior per se because He only provides a way to be saved. It is still up to humans to save themselves.)
Which brings me to blessings. God is the ultimate good and to seek Him for His blessings is really missing the joy of it all. I really hope that God would reveal Himself to Hyae so she would see that. Probably not the same vision that I had but of course God is a creative and wonderfuk God.
Anyway faith is both "paniniwala" and "pagtitiwala." It's so much easier in Filipino. But I cannot think in Hebrew but I hear "faith" there means both as if it was only really one concept. The Greek concept of separating the mind from the body is really prevalent which makes reading the Bible so hard sometimes.
Anyway I'll read up more on Catholic doctrine sometimes. I believe that there are Catholics who are true Christians too. After all, if you believe in your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, you will be saved (Note the context of a Roman guard, who would need to commit treason for saying Jesus instead of Caesar. That's suicide. That's faith.) Faith in Christ goes beyond culture.
I also sent sir Jimievard a copy of the book Desiring God by John Piper. I hope he reads it. Well the bottomline there is AMDG but in a different perspective because it's not what we do or sacrifice for God, but what we enjoy that pleases Him. I'll read that book too after things are okay.
The GC Column is still not fixed. At this rate we really might not graduate hahaha :)). But "cast all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you."
May 12 2015 Tuesday
Today I got new glasses! It's gray and a bit big and a little square and I don't know how to describe it. I bought one last Sunday and I think it looks pretty nice on me. Not that it makes me handsome, but at least I'm less unattractive on it. Actually I was supposed to get it yesterday but I forgot haha.
It doesn't matter though because I timed it to my favorite gray polo and black shoes and also because I looked forward to the dance later! But she wasn't there. :( I asked her to be my partner last night so maybe she feels awkward about that. Though she did say it was okay with her. (I trembled a little when she said that. Okay, maybe trembled a lot.)
I actually asked her just now if she feels like that but of course she never replies on text.
Also Mike and Grenny's cheese is good! I really like the stretching thing in Mozzarella. And I like the mild taste of salt. But the word "imaginable" in the survey form is so relative. I have a fairly good imagination so I couldn't give high marks.
Don is still up for dance and I told Almira I'll go if she's going and she said fine she's going so I think it's going to push through. I'm going even though half the reason I want to dance is gone because I still want to dance too.
We pushed through with the dance and I like what I'm learning. It's really based on principles and the basics are really emphasized.
Shimadzu still hasn't visited so we can't do Gas Chrom. No panic. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God and the peace of God which transcends all understanding will keep you and guard you in Christ Jesus.
I forgot the verse though but I think it's in Philippians.
I'm doing okay in PD. I'm done transplanting my section except for the pipes because the arrows are very small. The collosal arrowhead is hardly visible at 10% view. I need to put manually the arrowheads in triangle. I'll also get the sizes of the equipment from the two of them tomorrow.
So apparently she overslept. Haha. I want to talk to her tomorrow.
The summer moon peeked from the clouds and sent some quotes which I don't know how to interpret. We talked a little. I told her everything already so she should have gotten that.
It doesn't matter though because I timed it to my favorite gray polo and black shoes and also because I looked forward to the dance later! But she wasn't there. :( I asked her to be my partner last night so maybe she feels awkward about that. Though she did say it was okay with her. (I trembled a little when she said that. Okay, maybe trembled a lot.)
I actually asked her just now if she feels like that but of course she never replies on text.
Also Mike and Grenny's cheese is good! I really like the stretching thing in Mozzarella. And I like the mild taste of salt. But the word "imaginable" in the survey form is so relative. I have a fairly good imagination so I couldn't give high marks.
Don is still up for dance and I told Almira I'll go if she's going and she said fine she's going so I think it's going to push through. I'm going even though half the reason I want to dance is gone because I still want to dance too.
We pushed through with the dance and I like what I'm learning. It's really based on principles and the basics are really emphasized.
Shimadzu still hasn't visited so we can't do Gas Chrom. No panic. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God and the peace of God which transcends all understanding will keep you and guard you in Christ Jesus.
I forgot the verse though but I think it's in Philippians.
I'm doing okay in PD. I'm done transplanting my section except for the pipes because the arrows are very small. The collosal arrowhead is hardly visible at 10% view. I need to put manually the arrowheads in triangle. I'll also get the sizes of the equipment from the two of them tomorrow.
So apparently she overslept. Haha. I want to talk to her tomorrow.
The summer moon peeked from the clouds and sent some quotes which I don't know how to interpret. We talked a little. I told her everything already so she should have gotten that.
Monday, May 11, 2015
May 10 2015 Sunday
Today we ate at Kenny Roger's! It's mother's day and for some unusual reason they decided to eat somewhere different. It's my third time in Kenny's!
We ate roasted chicken and I had potato and chives or something and it was really good! The chicken's flavor and aroma goes beyond the spices in the skin and into the soft yet chewy meat. The mild taste of the gravy doesn't overshadow the savory flavor but complements it as the meat melts in a mouth bursting with flavor. I also tried the other side dishes like corn and carrots and mashed potato and macaroni and cheese and they were also good. I am happy.
Also for dinner the fried squid dipped in sukang paombong is very delicious.
So I accompanied Hyae in Destiny's service. I wanted to see for myself whether the rumors are true seeing as ate Shiela doesn't exactly fit the stereotype.
So when she introduced me to mike the first thing I learned was he was from physics. And he's not really exactly good with small talk. Which is fine. Then the first thing he asked about our church was the attendance and in my head I was like, really? And when he introduced their small group the first thing he said was the credentials of the members.
Now firsts are very important because it shows what they emphasize.
And then the service was very pentecostal and sounded a lot like prosperity gospel. Very repetitive and hardly Scriptural. Although I'm okay with pentecostal formats (I'm slightly used to them) it's really sad how much they emphasize the blessing and prosperity. I mean the obedience part is well and good but the motivation for it is blessing. Material blessing.
They reminded me of the church in Sardis.
God really blesses people materially too. In fact there isn't any divide between the material and the spiritual for Jesus is the Lord of them both. There's also prosperity gospel in the old Hebrew culture. Jesus Christ overthrew that belief by healing the man born blind. And the apostles weren't exactly blessed that way, right? I think it is for God to bless while it is ours to be content, give and serve.
But I'm sure God honors their faith. One way or another. It's what's important. Provided faith is real, that is. There is a faith in Jesus that is selfish. I don't think that's saving faith.
I'm not looking for material blessing. I want to be holy ever since that vision. But my heart is easily distracted.
We ate roasted chicken and I had potato and chives or something and it was really good! The chicken's flavor and aroma goes beyond the spices in the skin and into the soft yet chewy meat. The mild taste of the gravy doesn't overshadow the savory flavor but complements it as the meat melts in a mouth bursting with flavor. I also tried the other side dishes like corn and carrots and mashed potato and macaroni and cheese and they were also good. I am happy.
Also for dinner the fried squid dipped in sukang paombong is very delicious.
So I accompanied Hyae in Destiny's service. I wanted to see for myself whether the rumors are true seeing as ate Shiela doesn't exactly fit the stereotype.
So when she introduced me to mike the first thing I learned was he was from physics. And he's not really exactly good with small talk. Which is fine. Then the first thing he asked about our church was the attendance and in my head I was like, really? And when he introduced their small group the first thing he said was the credentials of the members.
Now firsts are very important because it shows what they emphasize.
And then the service was very pentecostal and sounded a lot like prosperity gospel. Very repetitive and hardly Scriptural. Although I'm okay with pentecostal formats (I'm slightly used to them) it's really sad how much they emphasize the blessing and prosperity. I mean the obedience part is well and good but the motivation for it is blessing. Material blessing.
They reminded me of the church in Sardis.
God really blesses people materially too. In fact there isn't any divide between the material and the spiritual for Jesus is the Lord of them both. There's also prosperity gospel in the old Hebrew culture. Jesus Christ overthrew that belief by healing the man born blind. And the apostles weren't exactly blessed that way, right? I think it is for God to bless while it is ours to be content, give and serve.
But I'm sure God honors their faith. One way or another. It's what's important. Provided faith is real, that is. There is a faith in Jesus that is selfish. I don't think that's saving faith.
I'm not looking for material blessing. I want to be holy ever since that vision. But my heart is easily distracted.
Sunday, May 10, 2015
May 9 2015 Saturday take 2
Okayy now that I got some sleep I think I can write my thoughts.
So I kinda drained the battery last night. So I couldn't use the laptop this morning because I forgot the charger in FETS, or so I thought. Which isn't really a problem except that I CAN'T STUDY FOR THE EXAM LATER.
I freaked out a little but then quickly resigned myself to that fate. So thanks to hanna who asked questions I could study a little. Then right before I was about to leave my mom told me, "andito charger mo ah baka makalimutan mo (your charger is here, don't forget it)." But I couldn't bring the laptop because I already have lots of sticks in my hand not to mention I don't like going home late at night with such a precious thing with me. (Although I do like going home with her but that's for later haha)
So I went to PE and John Dee was at flag football practicals so I did an impromptu with someone whose partner was absent too.
Then I went to DChE really early and kinda wished she was there like a 182 exam before but no she wasn't.
So marion and I studied mostly and I sat again in between the alchemes and KEM grouping.
After the exam C- said she'll PM me about something later. Then I asked what and C- smiled so I understood what it was. And it was raining hard so I used that as an excuse to talk to her and ask if maybe I could hitch a ride. She said yes (although she was reluctant at first). Then a few minutes later someone called me that people to philcoa can hitch with ma'am de leon and I thought hard if I should go with her or not. In the end I didn't go with her because I don't know. I was partly shy and partly unwilling to express my feelings publicy.
Although just earlier I talked to our pastor and he said it's okay to express it which I was planning to do some days ago already. Although when I see her all of my thoughts fly out of my head like a confused flock of birds upon a mere step of an elegant tigress.
About that meeting with pastor, we talked my issues and the mind and diversion of energy. Of course it's deeper than that but I want to keep this one to myself.
Then when I went home I stayed up a little late to talk with C- and what she said about her drove me crazy. Anyway regardless of that I was already planning things so we'll see how it turns out
And by plan I mean a farfetched wish. But now that I have a concrete goal (thanks to pastor and C-) maybe I can flesh it out a little now. Let's start with this tuesday
Oh and I hope she'll be safe in Pinatubo tomorrow because there's an upcoming storm.
So I kinda drained the battery last night. So I couldn't use the laptop this morning because I forgot the charger in FETS, or so I thought. Which isn't really a problem except that I CAN'T STUDY FOR THE EXAM LATER.
I freaked out a little but then quickly resigned myself to that fate. So thanks to hanna who asked questions I could study a little. Then right before I was about to leave my mom told me, "andito charger mo ah baka makalimutan mo (your charger is here, don't forget it)." But I couldn't bring the laptop because I already have lots of sticks in my hand not to mention I don't like going home late at night with such a precious thing with me. (Although I do like going home with her but that's for later haha)
So I went to PE and John Dee was at flag football practicals so I did an impromptu with someone whose partner was absent too.
Then I went to DChE really early and kinda wished she was there like a 182 exam before but no she wasn't.
So marion and I studied mostly and I sat again in between the alchemes and KEM grouping.
After the exam C- said she'll PM me about something later. Then I asked what and C- smiled so I understood what it was. And it was raining hard so I used that as an excuse to talk to her and ask if maybe I could hitch a ride. She said yes (although she was reluctant at first). Then a few minutes later someone called me that people to philcoa can hitch with ma'am de leon and I thought hard if I should go with her or not. In the end I didn't go with her because I don't know. I was partly shy and partly unwilling to express my feelings publicy.
Although just earlier I talked to our pastor and he said it's okay to express it which I was planning to do some days ago already. Although when I see her all of my thoughts fly out of my head like a confused flock of birds upon a mere step of an elegant tigress.
About that meeting with pastor, we talked my issues and the mind and diversion of energy. Of course it's deeper than that but I want to keep this one to myself.
Then when I went home I stayed up a little late to talk with C- and what she said about her drove me crazy. Anyway regardless of that I was already planning things so we'll see how it turns out
And by plan I mean a farfetched wish. But now that I have a concrete goal (thanks to pastor and C-) maybe I can flesh it out a little now. Let's start with this tuesday
Oh and I hope she'll be safe in Pinatubo tomorrow because there's an upcoming storm.
Saturday, May 9, 2015
May 9 2015 Saturday
OKAY I'M GOING CRAZY RIGHT NOW
i'll write the details maybe tomorrow. MAYBE but probably not
i'll write the details maybe tomorrow. MAYBE but probably not
May 8 2015 Friday
Today I attached a regulator to a cylinder. The manager of Shimadzu replaced the molecular sieve (taken from FID) and I came just in time to find a wrench. Then I attached the regulator. I also checked for leaks.
But sadly the CPU isn't working. We put a monitor there from another equipment and also tried another monitor but they didn't work. I removed the dust inside the CPU but it didn't work also.
So we need to fix the CPU.
Anyway I studied HAZOP later after eating bonchon with LC and hanna and rojen. Then the star spoke in a different speech pattern (mixed with english) which was really cute.
Carl's story about eating with sir Jimievard at KNL was funny.
Tonight was my cousin's debut celebration. It is weird because we have the same birthday but we don't really have it. Hers was moved to mine because mama beth is weird.
I als got sukang paombong from Mike which is nice. I want to eat it soon.
But sadly the CPU isn't working. We put a monitor there from another equipment and also tried another monitor but they didn't work. I removed the dust inside the CPU but it didn't work also.
So we need to fix the CPU.
Anyway I studied HAZOP later after eating bonchon with LC and hanna and rojen. Then the star spoke in a different speech pattern (mixed with english) which was really cute.
Carl's story about eating with sir Jimievard at KNL was funny.
Tonight was my cousin's debut celebration. It is weird because we have the same birthday but we don't really have it. Hers was moved to mine because mama beth is weird.
I als got sukang paombong from Mike which is nice. I want to eat it soon.
Friday, May 8, 2015
May 7 2015 Thursday
I'm actually writing this on the morning of May 8. I skipped yesterday because I wasn't feeling well. Anyway let's begin there.
Yesterday I got a legitimate love letter. I didn't think it would be that beautiful. It's more than a manifestation of emotions and feelings; it is love crystallized. Every thoughtful stroke of that neat, consistent handwriting, every word chosen with care, every punctuation marked by a heartbeat is a piece of that raw yet refined solid crystal. It's so clear and pure that it seems to shine a warm yellow glow, and looking at it makes me feel happy too.
We're actually very similar, but... I won't write it here. That's for her to know and hers only.
After that I donated blood and I think I overworked myself walking under the sun yesterday that I fell asleep in the bus. I also fell asleep early, but that's partly because I couldn't think properly then.
Today when I woke up I still couldn't think properly. And thinking of that letter reminded me of what I wrote last year. Miracle, Love. I re-read it and realized that I still feel the same after 363 days.
So I don't know anymore. I'm back again to this torn feeling of feelings vs spirit. My mind stops working when it comes to her haha
Oh also the star is very weird. Like she wants to say something but instead says it vaguely so that I could say it instead of her. But that's normal for her but she keeps saying she's weird and I'm weird which we know are both true which makes it weird even though it's normal.
Yesterday I got a legitimate love letter. I didn't think it would be that beautiful. It's more than a manifestation of emotions and feelings; it is love crystallized. Every thoughtful stroke of that neat, consistent handwriting, every word chosen with care, every punctuation marked by a heartbeat is a piece of that raw yet refined solid crystal. It's so clear and pure that it seems to shine a warm yellow glow, and looking at it makes me feel happy too.
We're actually very similar, but... I won't write it here. That's for her to know and hers only.
After that I donated blood and I think I overworked myself walking under the sun yesterday that I fell asleep in the bus. I also fell asleep early, but that's partly because I couldn't think properly then.
Today when I woke up I still couldn't think properly. And thinking of that letter reminded me of what I wrote last year. Miracle, Love. I re-read it and realized that I still feel the same after 363 days.
So I don't know anymore. I'm back again to this torn feeling of feelings vs spirit. My mind stops working when it comes to her haha
Oh also the star is very weird. Like she wants to say something but instead says it vaguely so that I could say it instead of her. But that's normal for her but she keeps saying she's weird and I'm weird which we know are both true which makes it weird even though it's normal.
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
May 6 2015 Wednesday
Today is my birthday! But I'll start the story from yesterday.
Actually, yesterday wasn't very eventual except for the social dance lesson. Well maybe the star was a little giddy about it. So we left the lab at around 4:50 and went to NIGS to give France her laptop. Then we walked to Vinzons and rode a Katip jeep to McDo, the meeting place.
We talked for quite a while in McDo about... things. Frustrations and fun, I guess you could put it that way. I really missed that. The sparkle in her eyes when she talks about things she like and petpeeves alike. That's why I don't understand why people don't take their time to listen to her. I guess she's not as uncomfortable around me as I thought.
Then Jan Cerezo came. (S)he's gay as expected. Very talkative and interesting. When Don, Dan, and Iana (new person, Lingg freshie and tennis UP varsity and apparently a Christian. Quiet too.) The lesson started at around a little before 7 so we ended at 8.
Then the group wanted to eat dinner but she remembered they had curfew so we went to SM North.
In the FX I asked her what her favorite pizza is and she didn't have one at first but then later she said Sbarro. About pasta there was this Touché or something but I don't know what that is. I'll try that soon.
So I decided to buy Sbarro for tomorrow.
Anyway what's important about that is that I can maintain the status quo as planned. Although I really need to stop thinking of her all the time and focus on the Lord instead.
When I woke up it was early so I washed the plates and had a little brownie for breakfast.
Then I played an Ashe and lost the game partly because of Soraka (terrible support, kept KSing creeps when she can and sightstone is passive, amongst others). But PD-Statikk-Zephyr-Boots of Swiftness Alacrity gives you 475 ms which is very neat. We were winning at first actually. I had some really good moves. But our team was dysfunctional so it was more or less a foreseen loss.
Anyway about the birthday! Malaine is the first to greet me as usual. That's 12:03 AM for the record. Then my dad and mom when I woke up then Danzen who was reminded yesterday and then Tita Beth.
When I got to the lab ate Shiela greeted me and of course Hyae who was there too tagged along.
At around 10 I called Sbarro and ordered the pizza. So estelle came when I was calling and she thought I was asking for molecular sieve but realized it was pizza and greeted me. Ate Carla came and I got new arnis sticks (kamagong) from Palawan! Black and very smooth and elegant. Then Dona came at the same time as the Sbarro so she was a little late.
So I have five people excluding my parents who know my birthday! Although I'm not really particular about it, it still feels nice.
So I asked people to come and eat the pizza and they were full and happy. It was my first time to celebrate birthday at school so I realized a lot of things:
1) It's really awkward when people sing happy birthday because you don't do anything in the few minutes they are singing except smile and look happy even though you'd rather talk to them instead.
2) It's more fun to celebrate birthdays in small groups because you really get to talk to people and also it's cheaper. So maybe next year I'd celebrate birthweek, like I told Aaron. On second thought, maybe not.
3) People like pizza. Even though I chose meatless they ate all of it. I should learn how to cook pizza.
It's a little sad that she wasn't able to eat a lot of the pizza. If she asked I would have bought another stuffed pizza.
Then the three of us went to physics and ask about Raman and the star and I snuck into the Research area and went to Ms. Eloise. She's very... how should I say this? Unsociable? Yeah, I think that's the word. She's actually a tsundere-ish girl who's very dedicated to work as I would learn later.
So I was supposed to go to the Parangal thing but then she was expecting us to join the Raman so I volunteered (I want to, too. I mean it isn't just about the priorities but I also want to see how Raman is done). That was about 1:30 PM then I went to Engglib to brush up on Raman but I accidentally took a nap for a few minutes. I did manage to finish reading but I'm not aware of the causes of the peaks in the TiO2 samples. I mean, all three forms are very different.
So we went to Raman and Ms. Eloise tried to make small talk but it's funny because she doesn't know how. I indirectly asked her hobbies and she says "wala, kailangan mag-experiment" and she snaps just like that. And she's actually very proud and I saw a smile of contempt when she said that GO and Graphene are different, to which I followed-up that the sample is reduced GO. (Which is of course technically graphene but it's common knowledge that it's more wrinkled and has a more terrible Raman spectrum. Well after that they kinda stopped grilling me about our work (thanks to them I got a better point of view of our thesis. Oh and Adelen helped a lot too except in a much nicer way. I forgot to talk about her last it was night or last last night I think).
I made myself useful by preparing the samples and turning the lights on and off (I catch on pretty quickly so I know the procedure more or less: Sample prep make one layer of solid powder sample in glass -> put under the green laser -> optical focus -> something that takes a while and makes a tik-tik-tik sound -> spectro) so I think they like that too. But I don't really know because they are a very close group and they don't talk to strangers. But they are funny and I couldn't stop myself from smiling when they were playfully mocking each other.
So our rGO had a terrible spectrum as expected because it should be FLG at least. So we actually were like getting the Raman spectrum of graphite in that setting. Which was stupid of me to not realize. Well the other samples were more or less nice.
Edit: I wrote 1994 onstead of 2015 ha ha
Actually, yesterday wasn't very eventual except for the social dance lesson. Well maybe the star was a little giddy about it. So we left the lab at around 4:50 and went to NIGS to give France her laptop. Then we walked to Vinzons and rode a Katip jeep to McDo, the meeting place.
We talked for quite a while in McDo about... things. Frustrations and fun, I guess you could put it that way. I really missed that. The sparkle in her eyes when she talks about things she like and petpeeves alike. That's why I don't understand why people don't take their time to listen to her. I guess she's not as uncomfortable around me as I thought.
Then Jan Cerezo came. (S)he's gay as expected. Very talkative and interesting. When Don, Dan, and Iana (new person, Lingg freshie and tennis UP varsity and apparently a Christian. Quiet too.) The lesson started at around a little before 7 so we ended at 8.
Then the group wanted to eat dinner but she remembered they had curfew so we went to SM North.
In the FX I asked her what her favorite pizza is and she didn't have one at first but then later she said Sbarro. About pasta there was this Touché or something but I don't know what that is. I'll try that soon.
So I decided to buy Sbarro for tomorrow.
Anyway what's important about that is that I can maintain the status quo as planned. Although I really need to stop thinking of her all the time and focus on the Lord instead.
When I woke up it was early so I washed the plates and had a little brownie for breakfast.
Then I played an Ashe and lost the game partly because of Soraka (terrible support, kept KSing creeps when she can and sightstone is passive, amongst others). But PD-Statikk-Zephyr-Boots of Swiftness Alacrity gives you 475 ms which is very neat. We were winning at first actually. I had some really good moves. But our team was dysfunctional so it was more or less a foreseen loss.
Anyway about the birthday! Malaine is the first to greet me as usual. That's 12:03 AM for the record. Then my dad and mom when I woke up then Danzen who was reminded yesterday and then Tita Beth.
When I got to the lab ate Shiela greeted me and of course Hyae who was there too tagged along.
At around 10 I called Sbarro and ordered the pizza. So estelle came when I was calling and she thought I was asking for molecular sieve but realized it was pizza and greeted me. Ate Carla came and I got new arnis sticks (kamagong) from Palawan! Black and very smooth and elegant. Then Dona came at the same time as the Sbarro so she was a little late.
So I have five people excluding my parents who know my birthday! Although I'm not really particular about it, it still feels nice.
So I asked people to come and eat the pizza and they were full and happy. It was my first time to celebrate birthday at school so I realized a lot of things:
1) It's really awkward when people sing happy birthday because you don't do anything in the few minutes they are singing except smile and look happy even though you'd rather talk to them instead.
2) It's more fun to celebrate birthdays in small groups because you really get to talk to people and also it's cheaper. So maybe next year I'd celebrate birthweek, like I told Aaron. On second thought, maybe not.
3) People like pizza. Even though I chose meatless they ate all of it. I should learn how to cook pizza.
It's a little sad that she wasn't able to eat a lot of the pizza. If she asked I would have bought another stuffed pizza.
Then the three of us went to physics and ask about Raman and the star and I snuck into the Research area and went to Ms. Eloise. She's very... how should I say this? Unsociable? Yeah, I think that's the word. She's actually a tsundere-ish girl who's very dedicated to work as I would learn later.
So I was supposed to go to the Parangal thing but then she was expecting us to join the Raman so I volunteered (I want to, too. I mean it isn't just about the priorities but I also want to see how Raman is done). That was about 1:30 PM then I went to Engglib to brush up on Raman but I accidentally took a nap for a few minutes. I did manage to finish reading but I'm not aware of the causes of the peaks in the TiO2 samples. I mean, all three forms are very different.
So we went to Raman and Ms. Eloise tried to make small talk but it's funny because she doesn't know how. I indirectly asked her hobbies and she says "wala, kailangan mag-experiment" and she snaps just like that. And she's actually very proud and I saw a smile of contempt when she said that GO and Graphene are different, to which I followed-up that the sample is reduced GO. (Which is of course technically graphene but it's common knowledge that it's more wrinkled and has a more terrible Raman spectrum. Well after that they kinda stopped grilling me about our work (thanks to them I got a better point of view of our thesis. Oh and Adelen helped a lot too except in a much nicer way. I forgot to talk about her last it was night or last last night I think).
I made myself useful by preparing the samples and turning the lights on and off (I catch on pretty quickly so I know the procedure more or less: Sample prep make one layer of solid powder sample in glass -> put under the green laser -> optical focus -> something that takes a while and makes a tik-tik-tik sound -> spectro) so I think they like that too. But I don't really know because they are a very close group and they don't talk to strangers. But they are funny and I couldn't stop myself from smiling when they were playfully mocking each other.
So our rGO had a terrible spectrum as expected because it should be FLG at least. So we actually were like getting the Raman spectrum of graphite in that setting. Which was stupid of me to not realize. Well the other samples were more or less nice.
Edit: I wrote 1994 onstead of 2015 ha ha
Monday, May 4, 2015
Thoughts
I like melding Scripture together. Here is something about creation that's been floating in my mind for so long.
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In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through Him, things on heaven and on earth,
visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him. And He is before all things, and in Him all things consist.
Then God said, “Let there be light”; and there was light. In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. Evening passed and morning came, that was the first day.
Then God said, “Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.” God made it and it was so. Evening passed and morning came, that was the second day.
Then God said, “Let the waters under the heavens be gathered together into one place, and let the dry land appear”; and it was so.
Then God said, “Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb that yields seed, and the fruit tree that yields fruit according to its kind, whose seed is in itself, on the earth”; and it was so.. Evening passed and morning came, that was the third day.
Then God said, “Let there be lights in the firmament of the heavens to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs and seasons, and for days and years; and let them be for lights in the firmament of the heavens to give light on the earth”; and it was so. Then God made it and it was so. Evening passed and morning came, that was the fourth day.
Then God said, “Let the waters abound with an abundance of living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the face of the firmament of the heavens.” Evening passed and morning came, that was the fifth day.
Then God said, “Let the earth bring forth the living creature according to its kind: cattle and creeping thing and beast of the earth, each according to its kind”; and it was so.
Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” Evening passed and morning came, that was the sixth day.
And on the seventh day God ended His work which He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had done.
And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.
Now I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse. And He who sat on him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness He judges and makes war. His eyes were like a flame of fire, and on His head were many crowns. He had a name written that no one knew except Himself. He was clothed with a robe dipped in blood, and His name is called The Word of God. And the armies in heaven, clothed in fine linen, white and clean, followed Him on white horses. Now out of His mouth goes a sharp sword, that with it He should strike the nations. And He Himself will rule them with a rod of iron. He Himself treads the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God. And He has on His robe and on His thigh a name written:
-----------------------------------------------
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through Him, things on heaven and on earth,
visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him. And He is before all things, and in Him all things consist.
Then God said, “Let there be light”; and there was light. In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. Evening passed and morning came, that was the first day.
Then God said, “Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.” God made it and it was so. Evening passed and morning came, that was the second day.
Then God said, “Let the waters under the heavens be gathered together into one place, and let the dry land appear”; and it was so.
Then God said, “Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb that yields seed, and the fruit tree that yields fruit according to its kind, whose seed is in itself, on the earth”; and it was so.. Evening passed and morning came, that was the third day.
Then God said, “Let there be lights in the firmament of the heavens to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs and seasons, and for days and years; and let them be for lights in the firmament of the heavens to give light on the earth”; and it was so. Then God made it and it was so. Evening passed and morning came, that was the fourth day.
Then God said, “Let the waters abound with an abundance of living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the face of the firmament of the heavens.” Evening passed and morning came, that was the fifth day.
Then God said, “Let the earth bring forth the living creature according to its kind: cattle and creeping thing and beast of the earth, each according to its kind”; and it was so.
Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” Evening passed and morning came, that was the sixth day.
And on the seventh day God ended His work which He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had done.
And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.
Now I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse. And He who sat on him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness He judges and makes war. His eyes were like a flame of fire, and on His head were many crowns. He had a name written that no one knew except Himself. He was clothed with a robe dipped in blood, and His name is called The Word of God. And the armies in heaven, clothed in fine linen, white and clean, followed Him on white horses. Now out of His mouth goes a sharp sword, that with it He should strike the nations. And He Himself will rule them with a rod of iron. He Himself treads the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God. And He has on His robe and on His thigh a name written:
KING OF KINGS AND
LORD OF LORDS.
LORD OF LORDS.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Actually I want to insert something mind-boggling in between the creation days and I think that would be good for a longer discussion about nature and stuff but it would take too much time and when it's raw like this instead I think it has a different kind of value.
Actually I want to insert something mind-boggling in between the creation days and I think that would be good for a longer discussion about nature and stuff but it would take too much time and when it's raw like this instead I think it has a different kind of value.
May 4 2015 Monday
Today I didn't sleep well. I woke up in the middle of night, even though it wasn't so hot (it wasn't cold either). I was thinking of her.
Last night, I asked her academic stuff and we ended up talking. I really missed those times. I miss staring at the way she smiles and the way her eyes glitter when she speaks so passionately about anything! Bonsai or drawing or gundam or yellowcard or people or anything at all! I love the way her hair smells and the way she puts it behind her ear with a flick of her finger. I miss it all.
She also invited me to join her in social dance. Of course I wouldn't say no. I dreamed of dancing with her before too.
I wanted to confess. If it doesn't work out then all is well; I've resigned myself to this fate. But if it does then I'll pour all my energy into it.
I was still thinking of this when I woke up again this morning.
Should I? Or should I not?
It was a long struggle. The whole morning, I was thinking about it. Until continued reading Boy Meets Girl.
I really, really love her. But that love distracts me from the Lord. That's enough reason. It's a NO. For my utmost is for His highest, and He is my desire and happiness.
But I'll push through with the dance. But for now I'll also maintain the status quo.
So after that we played couple quiz with hanna-rj and france-luna! It was fun and amusing and interesting all at once! Someday I really want to be in a great relationship like that. But there's more to that for Christian couples. There's no greater joy than an intimate relationship with God. And marriage is a very good thing that makes us experience that.
All the while I was doing Plant Design work. I'm really productive! Although of course it could be better. But like I tweeted, I have promised to make time for people. It's not about making connections and about the value of social life over grades. I want to be able to serve people so I think spending time with them is the first step.
Actually I accompanied DonaTelle (+Kim and Gionel) in UP today. It's fun sitting around chilling and listening like that.
Oh and I also played Vayne-Thresh with my brother this morning. It was an excellent game. Vayne is fun when there are no lags. We carried the whole team together. The enemy team hardly had any assassins, and their only one, the Leb, was stopped in its tracks by a single Maw of Malmortius with the extra magic resist from Thresh's Locket of the Iron Solari. The rushing tanks like Shyvana and Garen were all kitable thanks to my brother's excellent Thresh coupled with Vayne's insane armor shredding. It's easily one of my favorite games.
Last night, I asked her academic stuff and we ended up talking. I really missed those times. I miss staring at the way she smiles and the way her eyes glitter when she speaks so passionately about anything! Bonsai or drawing or gundam or yellowcard or people or anything at all! I love the way her hair smells and the way she puts it behind her ear with a flick of her finger. I miss it all.
She also invited me to join her in social dance. Of course I wouldn't say no. I dreamed of dancing with her before too.
I wanted to confess. If it doesn't work out then all is well; I've resigned myself to this fate. But if it does then I'll pour all my energy into it.
I was still thinking of this when I woke up again this morning.
Should I? Or should I not?
It was a long struggle. The whole morning, I was thinking about it. Until continued reading Boy Meets Girl.
I really, really love her. But that love distracts me from the Lord. That's enough reason. It's a NO. For my utmost is for His highest, and He is my desire and happiness.
But I'll push through with the dance. But for now I'll also maintain the status quo.
So after that we played couple quiz with hanna-rj and france-luna! It was fun and amusing and interesting all at once! Someday I really want to be in a great relationship like that. But there's more to that for Christian couples. There's no greater joy than an intimate relationship with God. And marriage is a very good thing that makes us experience that.
All the while I was doing Plant Design work. I'm really productive! Although of course it could be better. But like I tweeted, I have promised to make time for people. It's not about making connections and about the value of social life over grades. I want to be able to serve people so I think spending time with them is the first step.
Actually I accompanied DonaTelle (+Kim and Gionel) in UP today. It's fun sitting around chilling and listening like that.
Oh and I also played Vayne-Thresh with my brother this morning. It was an excellent game. Vayne is fun when there are no lags. We carried the whole team together. The enemy team hardly had any assassins, and their only one, the Leb, was stopped in its tracks by a single Maw of Malmortius with the extra magic resist from Thresh's Locket of the Iron Solari. The rushing tanks like Shyvana and Garen were all kitable thanks to my brother's excellent Thresh coupled with Vayne's insane armor shredding. It's easily one of my favorite games.
Sunday, May 3, 2015
May 3 2015 Sunday
Today Manny Pacquiao lost. I was really rooting for him! Too bad. I prayed a lot too. I asked, "Lord make him win so that your name will be glorified by everyone." But apparently winning isn't the only way to that. Better yet, we'll see the real results in his character.
There were a lot of people saying Mayweather just ran around, but the scorecard says otherwise. Mayweather fans would say that's not what boxing is all about. Well, playing smart isn't exactly really exciting. But I guess that's also a way to win. An boxing is a sport, not an entertainment show. Although I think its roots came from the gladiators in the Roman Coliseum. It's pretty funny actually, that the fight between the fans is apparently more intense than the actual fight.
I guess it's a win-win. Mayweather doesn't really care about fame however negative it is. He only bothers about the money so he got what he want.
So much for ranting haha. Hmm no positive things today, I guess. Although I really missed getting hyped while talking to the moon. haha
There were a lot of people saying Mayweather just ran around, but the scorecard says otherwise. Mayweather fans would say that's not what boxing is all about. Well, playing smart isn't exactly really exciting. But I guess that's also a way to win. An boxing is a sport, not an entertainment show. Although I think its roots came from the gladiators in the Roman Coliseum. It's pretty funny actually, that the fight between the fans is apparently more intense than the actual fight.
I guess it's a win-win. Mayweather doesn't really care about fame however negative it is. He only bothers about the money so he got what he want.
So much for ranting haha. Hmm no positive things today, I guess. Although I really missed getting hyped while talking to the moon. haha
Friday, May 1, 2015
May 1 2015 Friday
Today is labor day! But I don't really know why it's a vacation. I didn't bother to look up. Anyway my birthday is near! But my mom is insisting on going to that Parangal thing. I'd rather not celebrate my birthday in such a place. Or in such a manner.
Nothing really much to say. People are really cold now. Even the moon.
Nothing really much to say. People are really cold now. Even the moon.
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