Today there was no electricity.
We went to church and the sermon was about sharing the gospel. It kinda reminded me of my analogy of the church to a guilt-trip pyramid scam. I wonder, is guilt tripping biblical? Anyway, I'm only staying in the faith because I believe in Christ Jesus. To be honest, I don't like the church. Not our church per se, just church people in general. How should I say it? I think it's a little because fellowship feels so unnatural and that people seem so overly nice and unreal. Now there's nothing wrong with that, and one may argue that fake niceness might be even better. But for someone like me who craves the truth, real peope in all their ugliness are infinitely more attractive than hypocrites.
In any case, I think guilt tripping is a bigger issue. True, repentance is brought from godly sorrow but you can't really force someone to have godly sorrow. It's a different thing altogether. It's feeling bad because of our offenses to God and to God alone. It's not because we didn't do this or do that, or you weren't a good Christian or whatnot. It's very dangerous to meddle with artificial sorrow, because "worldly sorrow brings death."
Personally I haven't found any who use spiritual threats. Sure, God gives warnings and Hell is real, but perfect love casts out fear. You can't go on obeying under the fuel of fear forever. That is totally unchristian.
I slept all afternoon. I was bored out of my wits and of course wanted to text anyone and get some amusement but I figured you shouldn't use people like that. So against all my urges I didn't strike a long conversation. Just asked if classes tomorrow are suspended.
I won two chess games against my brother and played the piano at night.
There's something lovely about playing the piano in candlelight. Anyway I think I want to start playing again too.
The electricity came back just an hour ago (3 am Oct 19). I can't sleep now. So good morning, I guess.
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