October 22 2015 Thursday

Today I studied again with at engglib2 with the usual two. I came early and fixed most of my updates to Anki. I still need to work on some inorganic chemistry topics. Also, I'll be using a mindmap for organic chemistry.

To be honest I am already confident in a number of ChE topics, such as thermodynamics, fluid mech, and transport phenomena. The other unit ops are mostly conceptual. I think the only ones I can't handle are sizing of centrifuge filters and centrifuges in general, the flux approach to thickeners, and LLE. But then I can do LLE if I just read on it. Although I do have to compile notes on those, especially the minimum slope definitions.

Every once in a while I wonder how she's doin just like this morning upon waking, but then I remind myself that it's no longer my place to think about that.

Today my brother got mad. I hate that he orders me around. All my life he never did once obey me, partly because my parents always back him up because he's the favorite (even though I have all the right as the firstborn). He has no right to demand obedience when he can't do that himself: always complaining, asking for reasons and explanations. He isn't even grateful that I do that; he can't have finished his application in alchemes if I didn't. And now that he doesn't need it, he'll just push me away. He doesn't even have the right to impose rules on me; I'm the firstborn.

So I'm going to give him what he wants. Let him have it then. Hands off, starting now.

And I remembered how our parents got mad at me for having impromptu dinner with the PIChE team. That was the day I cried on a jeepney. But then again I shouldn't compare because they are always more lenient on my brother.

It's just that I feel a little sad about it. That I couldn't have the same freedo back then. No matter, I'm going to have all the freedom (and the responsibilities) in just a few months.

So my brother actually apologized. It felt a little nice, but he still demanded me not to disturb him when he's with his friends. He has no right to order me around. He doesn't even know how to obey. And when did I even ever do that? He's not really sorry; I doubt he even knows what he did. He probably thinks it's about making me wait.

I didn't say anything; I didn't know what to say. Maybe next time I'll say it.