Thursday, October 8, 2015

October 8 2015 Thursday

August 15 2015 Saturday
Today is Elise's birthday. But that's not the point.

She and I finally talked to each other. About things. Love. Us.

All this confusion of mine has finally ended. Finally I had decided to not make ligaw. She said she doesn't like me anymore. And that's that. We're friends now, as we should've been.

We also talked about things, about the past.

We ate at Ramen Nagi and then drank a suitably bitter Latte at Krispy Kreme. She has good taste. Then we studied with Mikee at Mexicali for a short while.

And went home our separate ways.

Today
It's been so long. The pageviews are down to zero! And again, the blog serves its public-private purpose.

A lot of things happened. I didn't cry. Though I know I won't find anyone like her. (Everyone's unique after all, and I always make it a point to love a person not because of any single particular trait. See the good, accept the bad. Love for who they are. In general. Not just romantically.) But it's not so much of a broken heart as much as it is a shattered dream. After all, there was never anything between us. I just wanted her so badly.

I'd like to speak in the past tense, so as to convince myself more. It's my way of coping. Now we're mostly just awkward and ignore and avoid each other when people are around (she doesn't like it when Carl and the others talk about that. Although of course I'm fine.) but she speaks a little when it's just the two of us. And whenever I see that smile and stare at those eyes, I remember why.

In the end we couldn't even be just friends. I guess it'll never be the same. I can't treat her as if nothing ever happened, like with --. I could do that, but then she can't.

And that's okay. I've accepted that fact already.



Mama is so annoying. Always asking if I'm studying or not. It makes me want to NOT study whenever she does that.

Anyway, now I'm platinum II! Kinda stuck again, what with my nasus not carrying the game as it should. My laning phase is rather difficult if I'm not first pick. And apparently solo queue at platinum II actually know how not to stall the game. In any case, I think I need to practice AD assassins like Talon or Zed. Basically a wider role pool,if there'a such a thing.

Also, I've been studying Perry's. I'm not really that into the board exam. Of course I do want to be top 1; who doesn't? But I'm not aiming for it. Or studying like crazy for it. I want to use this time to study other things that I want, like different languages, ChE198 Process Systems Engineering and Filipino Martial Arts. I'll also study numerical methods after boards. I'll just go with the book since I couldn't commit saturdays to Doc M's class.

Oh and I love Filipino Martial Arts. The group is called Telu Bituun Bagani, part of Lightning Scientific Arnis (L sci) and also Leskas if I'm not mistaken. I'm probably mistaken. I was told yesterday that I need to practice sprints. But I woke up late (7 am, can't even do warmups) so I couldn't start. Also my body still feels tired.

I've been working on duolingo this past week too. Trying to gild all the spanish, but mostly just refresh. And german. I haven't continued french and irish yet i decided german over french because they have better Anaerobic Digestion technology. And I want to learn that. And I really want to continue learning waray. Also I downloaded a korean app. I want to learn that too, since I realized it's useful not only for webtoons but for life as well (a lot of major construction companies are korean)

Last saturday we bought a new cellphone since my mom's will be returned to dad's office. Dad will retire soon so I need to work hard! But there's not really much pressure.

Anyway because of that I got a new Samsung Galaxy J1, and I realized when I got home that this is the same as T's. Ah, have I already said that she's interesting? I think I said that before.

Then I immediately installed all tools and apps I had on my old Galaxy Duos. But when I was about to transfer the sim, I realized J1 only has nanosim so I needed to transfer my (very) old sim to a new one.

That's why I spent 3 hours yesterday waiting for 25 people to finish. The Smart Center at SM Fairview is REALLY slow. Like they have no sense of professionalism and they walk slowly and do a lot of talking to each other. I mean, being buddies and all isn't bad but hey, they're working at the moment and there's no place for that. The manager doesn't even care. Like it's a norm.

And I heard that in the ME board, cheating was so rampant. I hope it doesn't happen to ChE boards. But whatever. MRII practically encourages us to cheat since they keep saying we can write on Perry's.

Not me though. Not gonna write anything. That's also part of the reasons I don't aim for top one.

So I've deactivated my fb and twitter and pretty much cut off from the outside world. I'm not even texting anybody about updates in the social world (though I admit that was a bit sudden and I do get bored to death, and I do wonder about it but I don't want to think too much about things). Oh, I asked LC but she has no internet and is taking care of puppies.

Hmm, well, that's that I can think of right now. It's been so long and I might remember things along the way and just drop them off there too.

Last thing! I want to write a novel. I have things in mind but that can wait after board exam.

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